Page 4 of Johann

But Jay didn’t want to tell her no. A chance to do a friend a favor? To see new customers and learn new ways to make the café run smoothly? Jay was all for it.

He hummed happily, closing the register drawer. “I’ll switch with you, Alicia.”

Alicia hugged him then, her body warm and soft against Jay’s. It felt nice. He missed being touched this way. His friends here were all bonded mates, and none of them seemed to want to provoke jealousy in their partners, so Jay wasn’t getting a lot of cuddles these days.

Vee hadn’t always been the warmest person in the world, but sometimes she would hug him, if he really, really needed it.

But Jay wasn’t going to let sad thoughts bring him down. Because hewasgetting a hug. And a new job to do. And there was still sparkly snow on the ground outside.

Coming to Hyde Park was the best thing Jay had ever done.

His only wish was that it could last.

Jay’s apartment was quiet after the bustle of the café at closing time. Much, much quieter than he would have liked. Which was silly because Jay loved quiet. Really, he did. Or at least…sometimes he did. When he was reading, or when he was drawing. He loved a good, old-fashioned peaceful afternoon.

But it was more what the quietmeant, ever since he’d left the den.

Solitude.

Jay rubbed at his belly as he hung up his coat. A familiar itchy sensation was building under his skin, settling in the pit of his stomach. It was still subtle enough to bear, but he’d definitely need to feed in a few days. He made a note in his head to make arrangements as he fussed with the couch cushions, trying to get them just right.

The little one-bedroom had come already furnished, which Jay was grateful for, because he didn’t really know how to decorate a place by himself. Vee had always chosen their home furnishings. She had impeccable taste, according to her.

She wouldn’t have liked this place at all—not one bit—but Jay did. He liked the soft beige couch, with its fluffy cushions, and the scratched little coffee table in front of it. He liked the big TV—garish, she would have called it—he could watch his favorite shows on. He liked the little kitchen he no longer attempted to cook in.

He’d even been adding a few things here and there—mostly a multitude of cozy blankets he’d found at different shops around town. And also a big, ornate chest for his art supplies. That was the oneostentatiousthing he’d allowed himself.

We’re not ostentatious people, Johann. We’re above all that. Don’t let me catch you flaunting our wealth.

Oh Lord. Jay rubbed at his forehead, resisting the urge to knock at it with his palm. Vee’s voice in his head was super strong today. It just wouldn’t quit. He wished it were possible to shake it out—like, physically shake his head until the old admonishments stopped coming—but that had never worked before. So instead he sang softly to himself as he puttered around, straightening the various blankets, trying to fill his head with music rather than harsh words.

Then for a while he just…stood still.

For a very long while, actually. Jay wasn’t sure exactlyhowlong he was standing there in the living room, but when he blinked back to awareness, it was fully dark outside.

Oops. Sometimes Jay lost time like that, when he was alone. A bad habit left over from Vee’s old punishments.

He took a seat on the couch and cleared his throat, trying out some words. “I don’t like being alone,” he declared, his voice ringing in the silent apartment.

There, he’d admitted it. He’d voiced it out loud.

At least…he didn’t like it as much as he’d thought he would, when he’d left the den. Sure, there were lots of good parts to his new independence—working at the café, family dinner nights at Danny and Roman’s house. Jay had even gotten to take a trip to Tucson and rescue a scared woman from a feral vampire and take her to the hospital, where the police asked him lots of questions and Soren had to eventually come in and compel everyone to forget Jay’s face.

That had been exciting, right?

But Jay didn’t like the long hours at night when he was all by himself, just him and Vee’s harsh voice in his head.

He used to hang out at the hospital some nights, just to have a place to be. But eventually Danny’s friend Chloe had asked about his sick family member and Jay had to lie to her about it, and then he’d never gone back after that.

Jay sat stiffly on the couch, trying to figure out what to do next. He supposed he could call Soren or Danny. But he tried not to be too much of a bother. They had their mates to keep them company. And, despite what some people may think, Jay wasn’t stupid. He knew Soren hadn’t really meant his invitation last spring, when he’d told Jay he could come to Hyde Park. Soren hadn’t really expected Jay to show up at his doorstep.

But Jay had seen a chance—one last chance—and he’d taken it.

And everyone had been so lovely to him, really. Danny called him “sweetie” all the time and had taught him how to drive. Sometimes Jay and Soren got together for classic movie nights. It wasn’ttheirfault Jay didn’t have anyone else.

Someone just for him.

In Jay’s old life, at the end of the day, when all his chores had been done, Vee would often sit with him while he amused himself. As long as he was neat and quiet and polite and she didn’t have anything better to do, she’d stay with him and keep him company as he etched out his drawings or read the latest novel.

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