Page 42 of Johann

Jay—seated next to Alexei at the dining room table—was quieter than Alexei had come to expect when it was just the two of them in a room, but he seemed content enough, gazing at his friends happily, eating more food than his small frame should ever be able to accommodate.

No one seemed to expect Alexei to talk much, which suited him just fine, especially with such an incredible meal before him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten so well, weirdly enough (were there vampire cooking show hosts as well?).

Although, Alexei still had…questions.

Mate. Mates. Mated pairs.Fatedmates.

How did one go from being a boyfriend to being a mate? It was incredibly fucking important that Alexei find out, preferably yesterday. But the fate part of it was throwing him for a loop. Did that mean Jay had a mate out there already? Was Alexei just…filler? Prepping Jay, giving him a taste of sex and romance, only for someone else to take him away permanently further down the line?

Alexei hated the idea, so much so that his generally steel-lined stomach started churning well before they got to dessert. Why the fuck couldn’thebe Jay’s mate? He’d be the most devoted mate there ever was, given the chance.

And no, the irony didn’t escape him. The fact that he’d only just recently risked it all, blown up his entire life to be free of family obligation, to avoid a future of permanent fealty to his brother. Only to be ready, less than two months later, to swear eternal devotion to the pint-size barista with a traumatic past and very specific dietary needs.

Alexei couldn’t find it in himself to care though. Because Ivan? Ivan was a toxic, power-obsessed asshole of the highest level, molded to be so by their complete dick of a father. And Jay? Jay was everything good and right and wonderful, somehow remaining so even after centuries of horrific influence.

So yes, Alexei would be fuckingthrilledto be mated to Jay.

But Jay would have told him, wouldn’t he, if that were the case? The little guy was an open book, a large-print picture book at that. He didn’t exactly seem the type to keep many secrets at all, let alone a massive one like a fated, vampiric bond with each other.

One big questiondidmake its way out of Alexei during the first real lull in the conversation, his practical side unable to keep holding it in. “What will you all do ten or twenty years from now? When none of you age?”

It was Danny who answered his question, after sharing a look with Roman. “We’ll leave,” he said simply. “All together. Find somewhere remote to spend some decades, until enough time has passed to join society again. Somewhere new though, obviously. A different country most likely.”

Alexei looked to Jay, who was helping himself to a fifth portion of chicken. “And…you’ll go as well?”

Jay flushed, shifting in his chair. “I’m not— Well…”

“Of course you will,” Danny protested, his voice infused with a sincere warmth. “You and, um, well…any companions you might have. Luc and Jamie will come too, I think.”

Alexei had no idea who those two were, but the other three vampires around the table—Jay excluded—started protesting immediately.

Danny only shook his head, a stubborn set to his features. “They’re our friends. We’re putting petty differences aside in the future.Forthe future.”

“Gabe’s broken arm—”

“Yourmurder—”

Alexei took a large sip of wine. Maybe life around vampires was more violent than he had originally thought.

He wondered if Jay had an opinion about the two potential additions to their getaway crew, but Jay ignored the argument, declaring a complete non sequitur instead. “I’d like to make a snow angel, I think.”

Everyone stopped talking, all of them looking at him with varying degrees of fond indulgence, but no one was actually stepping the fuck up for his suggestion. So Alexei did. “I’ll make one with you, kotyonok.”

Even with Alexei’s coat on for once, the cold night air was biting, but it was hard to care when Jay was so clearly delighted by the prospect of playing in the thick snow blanketing Danny and Roman’s backyard, bouncing on his toes on the deck like it was Christmas morning.

Alexei, slightly more sedate, stood next to him with his hands in his pockets, hoping his lack of gloves wasn’t going to lead to his fingers falling off. “Do you know how to make one, or do you want me to show you?”

“Of course I knowhow. You just flop like this—” Jay stepped off the deck and did exactly as he said, flopping onto his back “—and then you move your arms and legs like this—” He stretched his limbs out like a starfish, grinning like a loon all the while.

Alexei’s chest ached with a strange sort of pressure at the sight, as if it was too full of emotion for him to even begin to bear. He knew he wasn’t much to offer anyone, let alone an immortal being. Alexei was a runaway ghost, without a present or a future. He wasn’t particularly kind, or good, or fun, or funny. But in the face of Jay’s sweet delight, sprawling about in the snow, Alexei thought maybe he could offersomethingat least. He could be a companion. A witness. To help Jay enjoy the simple pleasures he’d been clearly denied for so long.

Jay loved the outdoors? Alexei would live in a forest cave with him, if he asked. Jay wanted to be around people? Alexei could handle that, if it was for Jay. He’d let Jay do all the talking, all the inadvertent charming, and it wouldn’t be so bad. Jay wanted a messy house? They’d make blanket forts, have a million pets, destroy their kitchen with culinary experiments. Alexei could be enough. He could try. Hewouldtry.

Until Jay’s better half came along and ruined it all, at least.

And wasn’t that a kick to the fucking gut? But even if they weren’t fated, Alexei could stay at Jay’s side until then, couldn’t he? Until Jay found the right person to tether him. It wasn’t like Alexei was going to deny him that, when it came down to it. Not if the alternative was insanity or death for his perfect, sweet vampire.

Jay, seeming to take Alexei’s silence as reticence, peered up at him cautiously from his spot on the snowy ground. “Have you ever made one before?”

---