Page 27 of Soren

Now Gabe was staring out the passenger window at the care home in front of them, a glazed look in his eyes. It was a little concerning, but his breathing was steady and even, so Soren was letting it go for the moment.

Plus, the human was holding Soren’s hand again, seemingly without realizing it, and that gave Soren some annoyingly fuzzy feelings, making him reluctant to move. He closed his eyes instead and basked in the sunlight coming through the window, his dark shades negating any irritation his inner vamp might feel at the brightness.

They sat that way a few more minutes before Soren’s phone dinged. He tensed and fished it out of his pocket with his free hand, glancing down with trepidation, half expecting another threatening message fromhim.

Instead, it was Roman.

You and Gabe have not murdered each other, have you? Danny has not heard from Gabe these past few days. It is making him…distracted. Fix it.

Soren looked up with a grimace. Sounded like Roman was getting blue balls on his honeymoon.

Gabe had let go of his hand and was watching him, one knee bouncing rapidly. “I’m sorry. I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”

Was the human worried Soren had better things to do? He shook his head, reaching back for Gabe’s hand. “Not in a rush, Highness. It was just Roman checking in. You should text your brother.”

“Oh, right.” Gabe’s knee stilled as soon as Soren touched him. He cleared his throat. “Sorry. Other things on my mind lately.”

An incredibly adorable revelation over these past twenty-four hours was that Gabe apparently blushed almost as easily as his younger brother. He had a more golden skin tone than Danny, so it was harder to tell, but it definitely happened. It was blooming beautifully on his cheeks now, a result of Gabe recalling what exactly had been on his mind.

Soren much preferred this bashful blush to the faraway look that had been in his eyes these past ten minutes. He stroked his thumb over Gabe’s knuckles, and Gabe took a deep breath in response.

“You smell like my shampoo,” Gabe blurted.

Soren grinned. “That’s because we showered together, Highness.”

Just the thought of it sent heat shooting down Soren’s spine. They had kept the shower fairly chaste, but the act of washing each other had somehow been more intimate than getting each other off with their mouths.

At least to Soren.

Maybe to Gabe too, judging by the way that blush was now traveling down his neck.

But then Gabe changed the direction of the conversation abruptly, his hand tightening on Soren’s. “When my dad died, my mom sort of shut down. She stopped—I don’t know. She just stopped. They were really in love, I guess. I remember that. They were happy. And my mom couldn’t deal.”

Gabe looked over, and Soren nodded. He knew some of the basics. Danny and Gabe’s father had died very suddenly, in a car crash, when they were still quite young.

Gabe continued, his hand squeezing Soren’s to a degree that might have been painful had Soren not been a vampire. “I was fourteen, but Danny was only eight. He was too young to just…go it alone. So I took care of him. Packed his lunches. Got him ready for bed. Held him when he cried.” Gabe looked out the window, avoiding Soren’s gaze now. “It took her a few years, but she got it together again, and I was able to go back to being a teenager, more or less, but I was…resentful. For a long time. My dad was my person. I was grieving. And suddenly I had to be a parent too?”

“I’m sorry,” Soren said. It didn’t feel like enough.

Gabe shrugged, his gaze still firmly elsewhere. “I don’t know. It wasn’t that long, in the grand scheme of things. But it hurt. I threw myself into school and friends after that. I wanted—wanted that normal teenage life, I guess. And after… I was so happy to get away from here, to go to med school. To maybe make my dad proud.” Gabe’s voice grew thick, and his eyes shone with unshed tears. “When I heard that she was sick, what it was, my first reaction was…anger. I was soangryat her. That here she was again, leaving us to fend for ourselves way too young.”

Gabe finally looked at Soren then, eyes frantic, clearly desperate for understanding. “I know that was unfair—Iknowthat—but by the time I started to come to terms with it, she was already forgetting me. She had made Danny wait to tell me…didn’t want to worry me.” Gabe gave a bitter laugh. “I didn’t realize until too late thatIwas the one leaving Danny to fend for himself, to pick up the pieces. I’d see him, and he’d seem fine. Tired, but what person in healthcare isn’t tired? But I’d been abandoning him the same way she’d abandoned me, caring more about my own emotional bullshit than his well-being.”

He broke off then, clearly drowning in his own self-loathing.

It wouldn’t do.

Soren released Gabe’s hand, reaching over to grab the back of Gabe’s neck. He squeezed gently, then pulled Gabe down to his level, looking him firmly in the eyes. “Do you know what, in my very long life, I’ve considered the most troubling of human emotions?”

Gabe stared back at him. “What?”

“Shame.”

Gabe’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. Had he been expecting Soren to condemn him for his anger?

“Shame infects every other emotion it touches.” Soren squeezed the back of Gabe’s neck again. “What I’ve just heard is the story of a boy—because fourteen is still aboy—forced to grow up too fast. To become a pseudoparent right after the loss of his own. Your anger at your mother is justified.”

Gabe opened his mouth to protest, but Soren cut him off. “Itis.But because she’s sick, because of the responsibility you feel toward your brother, you’re ashamed of that anger. You try to bottle it up, to guilt yourself out of it. But that’s no way to heal. All it does is allow things to fester. You can be angry and still love your mom. You can hate seeing her like this, hate that she’s forgotten you, and still do right by her. You’re not a bad person.”

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