“We’re often short-staffed as it is. I’m not doing that to my coworkers,” he’d argued.
And apparently Roman wandering the hospital halls for twelve hours would have security called in an instant, according to his mate. And Danny had worried a direct confrontation with Luc on hospital grounds would lead to patients getting hurt in the crossfire. So Roman was having to make do with circling the area around the hospital, lurking in the shadows.
That was Roman’s lovely mate though. Caring for others at the expense of himself seemed to be deeply ingrained in his nature.
As were the insecurities he had confessed to Roman the night before.
Roman shook his head at his own obliviousness. He should have realized the scars that would have been left by his mate’s past. Abandoned by his father to death, his mother to illness, his brother to denial. He needed more reassurances than Roman had been giving him, that was clear. Yes, Roman may have mentioned forever to the boy. But perhaps that simply sounded like platitudes when he had not specified what “forever” would mean.
Roman was afraid.
He was afraid to bring up the prospect of turning to his mate. He was afraid the very idea would horrify Danny, a man who valued human life so much.
And underneath that fear was the crippling doubt. The thought that Danny might turn and they would both find that the myth of fated mates was wrong. Roman hadn’t even believed in mates until meeting Danny, and he’d never met a fated pair himself. What if he’d been right all along and his mate woke up with a demon that was not soothed by Roman’s presence at all?
Maybe Roman would ruin Danny’s life forever.
His sweet mate would become feral like Luc and be doomed to an eternity of violence and misery. Or maybe vampire Danny would realize the world was his for the taking and that he didn’t need or want Roman after all.
Roman felt an ache in his chest at the very thought of it.
But what was the alternative? Allow his mate to grow old and die, sit by and watch while Danny slowly decayed each day?
Yes, Roman thought. If it came down to it, he would stay by Danny no matter what—vampire or human.
Danny was his mate, his person, for as long as they had, be it a few years or forever.
Had he not been making that clear enough?
It was ironic that the one person who could perhaps help Roman think through this dilemma, the one person who had experience in this arena, was the very same one intent on making Roman’s life a misery.
“You don’t believe she’s my mate, do you, Roman?”
Luc was lounging across from him in the bar’s booth, all graceful ease and dapper elegance. Many eyes at the bar—both male and female—were on him, and Roman knew, despite his friend’s apparent nonchalance, that he was not unaware. Luc’s dark hair had been sprinkled with gray at the temples already when he was turned, but it did nothing to detract from his appeal. The man reveled in his own attractiveness and pushed Roman to do the same.
Luc knew the allure they had as a duo, tall and dark and predatory.
Roman gave his friend a smirk. “I do not believe in mates at all, Luc. I think they are a fairy tale, a myth you and Soren have taken to because it gives you hope.” He cleared his throat. This was not a conversation he particularly wanted to have, but if Luc was going to push him to it, so be it. “I believe you are infatuated with your pretty human. You may even love her. She certainly has some sort of hold on you. But do I believe she is the magical solution to your fate?” Roman shook his head, taking a sip of his wine. “No. We are what we are. There is not some fated person who is coming to fix you. You are a vampire. A demon. Driven by blood and sex and violence. You have been since you were turned. As I have been since you turned me.”
Roman watched the guilt flash across Luc’s face. Perhaps Roman had gone too far, but he was tired of this obsession with mates. It was making his friend agitated, unstable. “I do not mean it as censure, mon ami,” he consoled. “You saved my life. I am grateful. Turn her if you like. Create another monster like yourself to fuck and love and maybe even be happy with until you both lose yourselves to the demons inside you. But do not expect her to tame you.”
Luc stared at him for a long moment, green eyes flashing in a way that made Roman think perhaps his friend would leap over the table to wring his neck. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d come to blows. Two people couldn’t have a friendship last as long as theirs without getting on each other’s nerves every few decades.
The tension grew until, finally, Luc laughed. “You just don’t like her, Rome.”
Roman shrugged. “I like her fine. It is because I like her that I think she should go into this with eyes wide open, Luc. She is not like I was. She is not dying on some battlefield. Turn her and you are taking away her life. Her human life.”
“Your self-loathing is showing again, mon ami.”
“I’m not self-loathing. I’m realistic.”
“And what is my other option, Rome?” Luc asked, eyes hard. “An eternity alone?”
Alone forever. It was Luc’s biggest fear.
Roman leaned forward over the table, clasping his friend’s hand. “You are not alone, Lucien. You have me. Always.”
Roman knew it wasn’t enough. Luc wanted a guarantee, a fated promise that he wouldn’t end up a mindless beast, driven to madness by the creature inside him. Friendship wasn’t enough for him anymore. He viewed Victoria as his salvation.