Page 26 of Spoonful

He took a shallow breath. He couldn't do anything about it now. Trying to hide them would just call more attention to the fact that he had fingerprints pressed into his skin, and—it wasn't anything, not really. Jaylin didn’t exactly want Brent to mark him up, but Jaylin was the one who had agreed to the relationship and Jaylin was the one taking Brent’s money. If getting bruised up once in a while was part of the gig, that was fine.

It was fine.

“I, um, I appreciate you giving me back my coat,” Jaylin said, feebly trying to get Hiro’s attention onto something else. “I mean, like you said, I’m a pro at layering, but, you know. Having a nice coat helps.”

Hiro nodded. He looked like he was thinking something through. “Is your gray one not as nice?”

“It’s just not as warm,” Jaylin said. Admitted. “It was a present though, so I-I feel bad if I don’t wear it.” More like Brent’s remarks were always extra cutting whenever Jaylin didn’t wear his gift. Jaylin hated the way Brent’s expression would go cold and cruel, how he’d say things like,“Do you even deserve the nice things I give you, if you don’t want to use them?”

But it amounted to the same thing.

Hiro was quiet for a moment. Then he asked, “Is the person who gave you the gray coat the same guy who doesn’t like your brown one?”

Jaylin felt himself seize up before he remembered that it was okay, it was okay, it was just a question. It didn't matter. Hiro didn't know anything. He didn't know about Brent, or that Jaylin was doing what he was doing just to get through school.

Even if he did find out and never wanted to even look at Jaylin again, that would be—that would be fine. Hiro had already done so much to help, and he certainly didn’t owe Jaylinhis time or attention. If Jaylin lost Hiro’s respect because of what Jaylin was doing to make things better for himself, that was just how life went.

It wouldn’t be a big deal.

“He just…” Jaylin curled his fingers around the sides of his mug, shifting in his seat. He was okay at lying to get by, but he didn'twantto lie to Hiro. Hiro had only been good to him so far. Jaylin owed him more than dishonesty. “He just thinks the brown one isn’t as nice.”

“But it keeps you warmer,” Hiro said, looking… sad. It wasn’t a question.

Jaylin shrugged and took another sip of his drink.

The silence that fell was awkward. Jaylin struggled to come up with something to do or say to lift the mood, but his mind had blanked out, unable to stop the anxiety from rising up. If Hiro found out about Brent, Jaylin didn’t just stand to lose Hiro’s respect. Hiro could easily ruin Jaylin’s career before it even happened, if he talked about the sex work to other people. Word like that would spread like wildfire in professional circles. And that was if Brent himself didn’t try to drag Jaylin through the dirt.

Jaylin didn’tthinkthat Hiro was the type of man to air someone else’s dirty laundry, but Jaylin didn’t reallyknowhim. What was a couple of meetings and a morning spent looking up disability services? Jaylin didn’tmeananything to Hiro, not really.

“I, uh…” Hiro leaned down to pick a little reusable tote up off the floor, setting it on the table. “I actually… I brought you something.”

It was an odd non-sequitur, and surprising on top of that. “You did?” Jaylin asked, staring at the tote. “What–uh—why?”

Instead of answering, Hiro pushed the tote forward, into Jaylin’s hands. Their fingers didn’t brush.

Uncertain, Jaylin reached into the tote and pulled out a scarf. It was light brown, with stripes of black and gray and little slivers of red running through it, with fringe on the ends. It looked thick and warm andsoft.

His breath caught as he glanced up at Hiro.

“I noticed you didn’t have a scarf,” Hiro said. “And I just thought… you know. It might be nice to have an extra something to help keep you warm.”

“Oh,” Jaylin said, not even having to feign his surprise and pleasure. It was such an incredibly thoughtful gift. Hiro had noticed Jaylin didn’t have a scarf and hadgottenhim one. “Um, wow, I… thank you.” He ran his fingers along the fringe. It was indeed incredibly soft. “But Hiro, you… you didn’t have to…” Hiro barely knew him. Why was he giving Jaylin anything at all, much less something so nice?

“I know,” Hiro said, lifting one shoulder. “But I wanted to.”

“Oh,” Jaylin said again. “But…why? You’ve already done so much for me.”

“Sometimes it’s nice to do things for other people just because,” Hiro said gently. “I thought you might like a scarf. I was hoping it might help keep you warm. That’s all.”

Jaylin studied him, trying to figure out if there was a motive.

Hiro’s kindness was still a foreign unknown, but he never made Jaylin feel stupid or unworthy because he had trouble with letters and numbers. He asked Jaylin silly questions about food or class and seemed to do so for the sole purpose of finding out more about Jaylin’s likes and interests. He invited Jaylin out and always ended withmy treat,never expecting anything of Jaylin in return except perhaps some of his time.

He hadn’t tried to touch Jaylin even once.

Jaylin looked back down at the scarf in his hands and swallowed. There were something like butterflies in his belly. “It’s really nice, Hiro. Thank you. Really.”

Hiro smiled at him. “Wear it in good health, okay? And hey, it uh… it matches both of your coats. So you could wear it with whichever one you wanted.”

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