Page 17 of Spoonful

“I don’t know how I can do anything differently,” Jaylin said wearily. “I don’t think I can do more than I’m doing. I’m already losing sleep over studying.”

“Right,” Hiro said. “Memorizing your textbooks.”

Jaylin didn't answer in favor of eating more of his food. Hiro did the same, clearly using the time to think over something he wanted to say.

“Jaylin,” Hiro said after several minutes. He sounded hesitant, which put Jaylin on alert. What was Hiro going to suggest now? “I don’t mean to be invasive, I really don’t, but… do you have difficulty with reading and writing?”

At once Jaylin went hot with shame. He took his time chewing his current mouthful to prolong having to answer. “Yeah,” he managed to force out. “I’m really bad at it.”

There was silence. Jaylin stewed miserably while he waited for Hiro to laugh at him, or give up and leave, or both. He picked at his food, unable to taste it, which he hated. He wouldn't waste it, but the fact that he couldn't enjoy it really sucked.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore. “I told you,” he said, breaking the silence. “Not good for much of anything.”

When he peeked back up, Hiro was glowering.

Jaylin reared back in his seat. He didn’t have to deal with other men’s anger much at this point in his life. Anger was something he had grown out of having thrown at him, except when Brent was in a really bad mood.

It didn't stop the visceral reaction of his heart leaping into his throat at having Hiro upset with him.

Hiro shook his head, clearing his throat. “Sorry,” he said. An apology was the last thing Jaylin had been expecting. He stared at Hiro as Hiro seemed to try to center himself.

“Sorry,” Hiro said again. He pressed a hand to his forehead. “I’m just… I’m really upset? You’ve clearly been struggling with this your whole life, and it’s frankly a fucking crime that it hasn’t been addressed by anyone.”

“Addressed how?” Jaylin asked warily. He was kind of worried about what the answer might be.

“All sorts of ways,” Hiro said, counting off on his fingers. “Providing you with a notetaker or a reader. Giving you permission to record your lectures. Longer testing times. Audiobook versions of your textbooks.Anything.There is absolutely no reason for you to be struggling like this, when there are so many accommodations that can be made for you.”

Jaylin’s throat was suddenly very dry. Accommodations? Forhim?“Wouldn’t they… wouldn’t they just say I was trying to get special treatment?”

“It’s not about that,” Hiro said, shaking his head. “It’s not about giving you easier work, or giving you opportunities your classmates don’t get. It’s about creating a learning environment that works for you. One that allows you to thrive instead of flounder. God, Jaylin, you can do calculusin your head.No one is going to be saying you’re trying to game the system.”

“But I can’t…” Jaylin swallowed, uncertain. “I can’t even write down how I do it.”

“That doesn’t matter so much in the real world,” Hiro said, voice soft. “Not at all. I couldn’t care less if you wrote down how you solved the equation. All most people need is the right answer.”

Jaylin’s eyes suddenly burned, and he blinked hard to get the feeling to stop. He felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, like he was watching someone else being told that they could have a chance at a better life. “I…”

“You know Aditi’s brother, Deepak?” Hiro asked out of nowhere.

He knew Aditihada brother. Jaylin didn't see how it was relevant, but he’d bite. “Yeah?”

“Deepak’s one of my best friends,” Hiro said. “Crazy smart. Kind of dumb, but crazy smart. He’s an engineer. Works on some pretty impressive stuff.”

“Okay,” Jaylin said, uncertain.

“He’s functionally illiterate.”

Jaylin’s eyes widened. “W-what?”

“He’s illiterate,” Hiro repeated. “Deepak’s dyslexic to the point that he can’t read written words at all. He’s fine with numbers, but letters don’t work for him.”

Jaylin was aware he was gaping as Hiro continued. “His parents—the Sharmas–they figured out early on that typical public school wasn’t working for him. So they pulled him out and homeschooled him for a few years while they created a plan to get him back into the system. But they wanted to put him into a system that built him up instead of tearing him down. They actually pioneered a lot of the facilities that schools use now, for people like Deepak. And like you.”

“Like me,” Jaylin whispered to himself.

“Deepak’s an engineer, Jaylin,” Hiro said, and he looked so proud as he said it. “He’s living his dream and up to his elbows in tech. He adapts what he has to and it works for him.” His next words were serious and soft, and Jaylin felt them shoot straight through him. “That could be you, too.”

“I-I don’t know where I’d even start,” Jaylin managed. He was almost angry at how desperate he felt. How hopeful.

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