Page 16 of Spoonful

Hiro’s eyes narrowed, and Jaylin’s brain caught up to his mouth. He seized up.Stupid, stupid—“I just mean—it’s not—”

“Doesn’t sound like someone I’d count on for a good opinion,” Hiro said, his voice deliberately mild. “But I’m being pushy again, and I don’t want to put you off your food. Why don’t we change the subject for now.”

“Okay,” Jaylin said with relief.

For that he got another smile, but it was clear Hiro was unsettled by Jaylin’s nonsense.

Jaylin fished for something to say as they began to eat. It wasn’t Hiro’s fault that Jaylin was like this, and Jaylin was enough of an adult to get that Hiromeantwell. “So um, did you have something in mind?” he asked as an olive branch.

“In mind?” Hiro asked.

“For meeting with me,” Jaylin clarified. “You… said you’d help me plan? To keep me from falling behind too much.”

Hiro nodded, sitting up straighter. “Yes, of course. Which classes are you struggling with?”

“All of them,” Jaylin sighed. “Except Sign Language. I’m doing pretty okay in that.”

“That’s great,” Hiro said encouragingly. “You’re heading toward being trilingual, huh? That’ll really benefit you as a paralegal. In any job, really.”

Yeah, until they find out I can barely read,Jaylin couldn't help but think. “Maybe.”

“So the law class, the math class, and astronomy?”

“Yeah. Aditi’s doing her best to help me in math, though.”

“How’s that going?” Hiro asked. “Like I said, Aditi said you were really smart.”

“It’s going okay during the one on one,” Jaylin said, averting his eyes. “It’s a different story in class though.”

Hiro nodded understandingly. “Test anxiety?”

“Not… exactly?” The only reason Jaylin was anxious about tests was because he knew he’d run out of time before being able to finish all the questions. “I’m, um, I’m not good at showing my work. I can usually get the answer but…” Jaylin shrugged. “Or it’s a problem that has a lot of theory and analysis in it.” Something he had to read in order to figure out what math he needed to apply. “I’m not good with those, unless it’s um, like a question the teacher presents orally.”

“Wait,” Hiro said. “Didn’t you say you were taking statistics?”

“Yeah,” Jaylin said before admitting, ”They were going to place me in remedial math because of my high school grades, but I was able to test out of it.” By the skin of his teeth, and only because the tester gave him an extra half hour to rewrite some problems he’d only half-finished, but he’d done it. It had been such a relief to not have to worry about needing to fit a couple extra prereqs into his two-year plan.

“So how do you do the math problems?” Hiro asked. “In your head?”

“Yeah,” Jaylin mumbled.

Hiro blanched. “Wait, really?”

Jaylin nodded unhappily.

“You’re doing the math for a college level statistics class in your head,” Hiro said slowly.

Jaylin winced. “It’s easier than trying to write it all down.”

Hiro took a deep breath. “I think we might be having two different conversations here, Jaylin. You’re acting like being able to do algebra and calculus in your head is a bad thing, while I’m over here trying to pick up my jaw off the floor.”

Jaylin ducked his head. “If it were so impressive, maybe teachers would stop trying to fail me.”

“That sounds incredibly frustrating,” Hiro said gently.

Jaylin looked up at him in surprise.

“Well, sure,” Hiro continued. “Here you are, able to do the work—knowingyou’re capable of doing the work… but the system requires just exactly the specific things you’re not as skilled at, so it makes you look like a failure. When really, you just need to do things differently.”

---