Page 9 of Restraint

There was nothing, because it hadn’t happened. Because it had been a nightmare or a delusion. Maybe Jamie was losing his mind. He’d been so sure he’d seen it, but the only evidence anything had happened was a vague soreness in his body, and if he’d been tensing or thrashing in his dreams, that was easily the cause.

Jamie climbed out of bed, and went to the bathroom just to be sure. He stripped out of the shorts and stood back to look at himself in the mirror. Despite the weird way he was feeling, he looked fine. Almost better than fine, actually.

Since moving in, all of Jamie’s dreams had been strange, and he’d suffered broken night’s sleep because of it. Despite that, every day he’d woken up more rested and energized than the last. There were no dark circles under his eyes anymore, no gaunt pull to his face. He didn’t know if it was eating regularly or the lack of being yelled at all the time, but the apartment had done him well. The only thing staring back at Jamie in the mirror was a better version of himself.

Even the nap he’d just had, for all its horrors, had left him energized. He was losing his mind, but he’d also never felt physically better.

Just to be sure, Jamie reached a hand down between his legs. It felt maybe a little tender there. A little sore. But he wasn’t even as sore as he’d been that morning. And there was… no wetness there. Nothing to indicate any sort of eldritch creature had come inside him.

“No, you’re just crazy,” he said to his mirror self.

Feeling out of sorts, Jamie went back to his bedroom and found himself a fresh set of clothes. If the storm was gone and he was topped up on energy, he could at least go and run his errands for the day.

Getting out of the apartment would be good for him anyway. Some fresh air to clear his head.

Dressed, Jamie strode back through the living room, picking up the cup of tea and his phone that was still there. His phone told him it was one in the afternoon. The last time he’d been looking at the phone it’d been near eight. At least he hadn’t fallen asleep and slept the entire day away.

When he unlocked the phone, he saw the last browser tab he’d been looking at and flushed shamefully. Yeah, so he’d been asking for a nightmare like the one he’d just had. When he’d been looking at tentacle porn he’d had a tentacled dream. Today he’d been neck deep in shibari, so what did he expect to happen?

Was Jamie going to learn?

Quickly, he closed all of those browsers and then dropped his phone in his pocket. The back of his neck prickled and Jamie spun around, but even in the darkest part of his apartment, there was nothing.

“Groceries,” he reminded himself. “Stop jumping at shadows.”

He thought about lunch or a snack before he left, but even though all he’d had to eat was oatmeal and a banana hours ago, he wasn’t really hungry. Instead, he took the stone cold cup of tea from the living room coffee table and dumped it in the sink, then found his keys and wallet. He plucked his shopping list from off the kitchen counter where he’d left it, then went to grab his reusable cloth bags. The grocery store wasn’t a far walk, but he needed a few heavy items and he’d learned that it was easiest to carry them back in something sturdy.

Jamie squinted as he came down the steps of the building. The sun was directly overhead and searing now that all the rain had gone. He’d been in his dark apartment for too long because it hurt, and he had to shield his eyes.

By the time he had walked the six blocks to the superstore, Jamie made the executive decision to buy a pair of sunglasses at the store too. He’d had a junk pair that he’d used on occasion, but he didn’t think he’d seen them when unpacking after the move. The six block walk had been… uncomfortable in its brightness.

He made quick work in the grocery section of the store, loading up on the staples he was running out of, and made a swing past the whirling rack of sunglasses, picking out ones with a bright blue rim. Rick always wore such colorful sunglasses and he made them look good—maybe Jamie could try and pull them off.

Finally, Jamie wandered over to the part of the store that had house goods. No more lights had blown in the apartment, but he wanted to pick up another pack of light bulbs just in case. It was better to have more than enough, than be stuck in the dark.

He grabbed a pack and then his eyes caught on the display right next to it. Nightlights.

For a second he almost reached for one, but the dinosaur design gave him pause. In fact, most of the nightlights had childish designs on them. Because they were for children.

“You’re being crazy,” he muttered to himself under his breath as he made himself pull away. “You’re not afraid of the dark.”

Still, his eyes stuck on them.Wondering.

Then again, the dream earlier had come upon him in the daytime. He’d even been sitting in the light of a lamp; it hadn’t been dark at all. There was no shadow monster, it was all in hishead. All Jamie could say for sure was that he’d looked up things on his phone and that at some point he’d fallen asleep. He’d had a vivid dream–extremely vivid–but had woken up to find absolutely no evidence that it had really happened.

Sure, Jamie had moved from the couch to the bed, had taken off his shirt, but that wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. People slept walked, or were so tired they did things they didn’t remember later. It was a little odd, but it wasn’t… supernatural.

Still, it kept dragging at his thoughts the rest of the time in the store. He could barely focus as the cashier rang him up and he paid. He kept thinking about the fear, about the way he’d felt all morning like something was watching him. The way that spider had tied him up like he was prey–

The way a part of him had enjoyed it.

Jamie tried to focus on bagging the groceries. Everything went in his bags and he hefted onto his shoulders. He slid on his new sunglasses before he stepped outside the store. They helped immensely with the brightness, and he was glad he’d gotten them.

The whole walk back Jamie kept thinking about those phantom touches. The way the ropes had clung to his skin, held him nearly immobile. The way those enormous spider legs had caressed him, coaxed him sure but steady toward his orgasm.

That was the worst part of it all. The fear had been drowning Jamie, but it hadn’t deterred the reactions of his body. If anything, it had made them more intense, and that dream orgasm had been one of the best he’d ever experienced.

Or maybe it hadn’t been the fear at all he’d been reacting to so strongly. Maybe it had been just how adeptly those spidery legs had touched him. How they’d known every part of him that was sensitive, where he liked to be touched and how. That they’dfucked him the way he’d always wanted, the way he’d barely let himself dreamt of.

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