Page 84 of Forbidden Desire

“That was a fun morning, wasn’t it, love?” I ask, as I nuzzle her neck.

She giggles and plays with my hair.

“What did you think of Marco?” I ask, as if she’ll answer me with her honest thoughts. If she could talk, she’d probably tell me she loves him and wants to see him again soon.

“Ma-coooo,” she coos.

I laugh softly, though the word sounds funny when I know it should be something like “dada.” But she doesn’t know that. Or does she? The way she is so comfortable with him and the way she reaches for him, it’s like she senses the bond between them. Maybe she sees herself in him. I wonder if that’s possible for a baby.

We spend the rest of the afternoon playing on the living room floor, going through every book in her wicker book basket, and fiddling with her play gym. Outside, this morning’s perfect weather has turned into rain and dark gray clouds. I welcome it gladly. It’s been a while since we’ve had a good rainy day, and it seems to match my solemn mood.

My mind continues to drift to Marco, but not in a way that relates to Josie. I wonder what he’s doing now. If he’s watching the same rain fall as me through the large windows of his apartment. I bet it’s a beautiful view.

He’s showing me a side of him that I’ve seen before. That I’ve fallen for before. It’s hard not to get lost in him. Being so close to him at the zoo today, I could smell that familiar waft of cologne. I could see his tousled hair that I love peeking out from the bottom of his baseball cap. I could see that smile that I wasconvinced he saved for me. He was so warm. He earned bonus points for how he was with Josie.

A flash of lightning breaks me from my thoughts. I check the time and see it’s approaching five o’clock.

“We better get going to Auntie Sadie’s,” I say to Josie before scooping her up.

Sadie likes to play hostess once a month, trying out new recipes and wine pairings, and tonight she’s doing an Italian theme. My stomach grumbles at the thought of it. Sadie is an excellent cook and a nice glass of wine sounds good right now.

I take Josie to her room and change her diaper, swapping her outfit for something more weather appropriate. I rummage through my closet for a raincoat and an umbrella before heading out the door. I hold her tightly to me, even though she keeps reaching her hand out to feel the rain. We stay mostly dry until we reach the subway station.

The ride is short, and on the way I read the back of the latest issue ofThe NY Daily Newsthat an older gentleman is reading across from me. I smile seeing it. An actual physical issue of my paper. I’m glad someone still gets it.

Thankfully, the rain has let up a little when we get to the subway stop closest to Sadie’s apartment. I don’t bother with the umbrella and let Josie feel the tiny raindrops against her face. I laugh as she holds her mouth open, trying to catch one.

After walking the short block to Sadie’s apartment, we reach the brownstone building and buzz her. She opens the door for us and has the door open when we arrive, the smell of fragrant garlic and bread wafting down the hallway.

“It’s dangerous leaving your door open like this,” I say, stepping inside. “You’re going to have the entire complex showing up to eat whatever you’re cooking.”

“Haha! Wouldn’t that be something?” Sadie calls from the kitchen.

I slide off my raincoat, followed by Josie’s, and hang them on the coat hooks by the door. I carry her to the kitchen where I find Sadie in her usual apron, surrounded by bubbling pots and pans and a few bottles of wine.

“Do you need any help?” I ask.

“No, no,” she waves me off. “Help yourself to some wine, though. The prosecco will go perfectly with the appetizers.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.”

I prop Josie on my hip while I work at the cork, popping it with my thumb. I pour three glasses, and Josie reaches for one.

“Nu-uh, missy. Twenty more years, okay?”

Sadie laughs as she brings out a tray of antipasto and various breads, placing it on the countertop.

“Wow, this looks incredible,” I say.

“I’m here!” calls Beth from the doorway breathlessly.

“Just in time for appetizers and sparkling wine!” calls back Sadie.

We gather around the counter, clinking our glasses and digging into the various cheeses and tapenades. Everything is mouthwateringly good, and we haven’t even gotten to the main courses or dessert. Sadie tends to go all out with these things.

“What did everyone do today?” asks Sadie.

“I had to run floral arrangements to the library for a wedding today. It’s really a beautiful venue for a ceremony. I have another wedding tomorrow morning, so not too much wine for me.” She winks.

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