Page 60 of Forbidden Desire

“Yeah, but it must have felt like centuries.” He gives me a pat on the back as I step into my cubicle. “See you later.”

I settle in at my desk, relieved we didn’t run into Marco and relieved Jose didn’t bring up his article that I didn’t end up publishing in last week’s issue. I hope he forgot about it.

If Marco is this mad still, then there’s probably little time I have left here. He should have just done it last week instead of reassigning me. I don’t know why he’s keeping me on after everything that’s happened. I know I will probably be called into his office soon, or he’ll end up having HR deliver the news because he doesn’t want to.

The past weekend, I sent out more résumés to other papers, but the problem is there are few independent newspapers in the city that have yet to be acquired by him. The remaining few I have been eagerly waiting to hear back from. I know I could shoot myshot with the bigger papers, but I’m trying to be realistic about my options.

I’ve even tried for assistant jobs around the city, but I don’t necessarily have experience in that, other than the first few months working for George or the past few weeks working with Marco. I highly doubt he would give me a letter of recommendation or allow me to put him on a list of references.

Sadie and Beth have tried giving me suggestions on what I can do, even asking around with people they know if there are any job openings. So far, I’ve come up empty. No one they know is hiring, and I haven’t heard back from any of the places I sent résumésout to. I spend most of my nights scoping the job search sites, readying myself for the inevitable.

If I do end up getting fired, Sadie suggested I sue him for wrongful termination, but I know it could possibly lead to an ugly custody battle for Josie. I can’t have that. I find it physically hard to breathe to even think about losing her like that. He would take me to court too. If I piss him off even more, there’s no telling what he will do.

Plus, I can’t even afford an attorney to do all that. If I could, they wouldn’t stand a chance against Marco’s attorneys. I’m sure he has the best of the best. No, it’s best to keep my head down and lay low. Now that I know he’s back and with a vengeance, I won’t be making any more trips to his part of the office.

At lunchtime, I head downstairs to visit Josie and eat lunch in the small dining room the daycare has for its visiting employees.She lights up when she sees me, and it makes me wonder why I hadn’t brought her here sooner. It’s not like Marco spends his free time down here. Still, I couldn’t risk it. I’m just glad I have this option now, while it lasts. It makes me sad I might have to upturn Josie’s childcare situation again if I lose my job.

That night, Beth and Sadie come over with a bottle of wine and Chinese takeout. We set up our white cartons filling the room with savory smells on the coffee table and pour wine into stemless glasses, harder for Josie to spill. Ever since she’s learned to pull herself up, nothing is safe. As we fill our plates with food, she lies on her back, tinkering around with the play gym my brother gave her.

“How was Josie’s first day at the new daycare?” asks Sadie, serving herself some beef and broccoli.

“It was really good. I love being able to go visit her on my breaks. It’s the perfect setup.”

“That’s great! How did the nanny take it?”

“Better than expected.”

“And how are things with Marco?” asks Beth hopefully.

“There are no things with Marco,” I say with a shrug.

“You haven’t seen him?”

“Nope. I’ve been avoiding him.” I take a bite of an eggroll.

“Erica…” she starts.

Oh, here we go,I think to myself.

“He’s the father of your baby. You two havesomething.”

“Had,” I correct her.

“I just think you’re giving up too easily. Both of you.”

“What would you like us to do, Beth?” I ask, giving her a sharper look than I intend to. “Pretend I haven’t lied to him the past year and become one big happy family?”

Beth is quiet for a moment. Sadie watches us both nervously as she chews her food.

“I just think that if he didn’t care about you or Josie, he wouldn’t bethisupset.”

“If he wanted me or wanted to be a father, he knows where to find me.”

“You didn’t exactly ask him to—”

“Can we just drop it?” I ask with an exasperated sigh.

Beth puts her hands up in defense. “Okay,” she says softly. “It’s dropped.”

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