Page 19 of Zero Chance

I was going to go home now.It was probably only, like, a fifty-minute walk from here.

I started to turn away, only for the front door to open, and Xander herself to step outside.

“Waverly?Oh my God, you actually came!”

As she dashed down the front steps, I mumbled, “Yeah.”I’d come.Still wasn’t sure if I’dstay, but here I was.

Her body plowed into mine for an excited hug, and I winced, holding still to let her do her thing, hoping it’d stop soon.When she pulled away, I exhaled in relief.

Squeezing my hands, she grinned.“I’m so glad you’re here.This is actually going to be my first college party.And I didn’t really want to go through it alone.I mean…” She lifted her shoulders helplessly.“I know Foster will be around, and Raina, his girlfriend, and all of their crew, but I kind of wanted someone just to myself that I could cling to all night.You don’t mind if I cling, do you?”

I blinked at her, not quite able to believeshewas nervous about tonight.She was so talkative and pretty and perfect; what in the world didshehave to worry about?But it was also a relief to hear she didn’t want to leave my side.

“Since clinging to you wasmygame plan,” I announced dryly.“I don’t see the problem with that.”

She laughed and hooked her arm through mine.“You’re funny.I love your wry sense of humor.Come on.”Instead of walking me toward the front door, she steered me toward a bright orange SUV parked in the drive.“Move my car down the block with me, will you?I don’t want anyone scratching it or barfing on it tonight.”

I nodded silently and climbed into the passenger seat, glancing around at the other vehicles parked in the driveway.To our right was a black Ford behind a silver Kia Forte, and directly in front of Xander’s Rogue sat a four-door Jeep Rubicon with big, lifted tires.

I knew the Jeep had to be Keene’s even before I spotted the TYBR bumper sticker attached to it.

TYBR stood for Texas Youth Bull Riders.My dad had taken me to a rodeo in high school, and I’d gotten to see Keene in action.It had been breathtaking to watch.He’d won the world championship in the junior rodeo the year before, and after I saw him ride, he’d gone on to win for a second time.

And then he’d never ridden again.

I had no idea why he’d dropped it.He hadn’t gotten hurt, which was why people usually stopped so young when they were doing as well as he was.

The mystery of it still ate at me to this day.I wanted to know why.I wanted to know everything there was to know about him.

Chewing on my lip, I stared at the bumper sticker as Xander reversed her SUV out of the drive, and I tried to ignore the swirl in my stomach from just knowing he was inside that house.This was where he lived.Where he slept.And I was currently staring at his Jeep.

What in the world was I doing here?

“It’s funny,” Xander was saying as she drove us down the street, even though she didn’t look amused at all.“I always pictured Liam being with me when I attended my first college rager.”Her eyes watered as she shook her head and gave a miserable sniff.“God.It’s been six months, and I still glance over to say something to him when an idea comes to me.Then, it just—it hits me fresh all over again when I don’t find him there beside me.Ugh.”Wiping the tears from her eyes, she made a face of disgust and warned me, “Don’t ever fall in love, Frankie.It’s not worth it.”

I wanted to sniff.Unrequited crushes weren’t all that glamorous either.

Then again, it was probably for the best that Keene had no interest in me.I mean, what the hell did I think I was going to do if hehadreturned my attraction?After being raped on and off for five years straight between the ages of ten to fifteen, I couldn’t even stand human contact these days.I’d been sweating bullets when Xander hugged me for threeseconds.I bet there was no way I could actually make it through a full round of real, consensual sex from start to finish.It felt like a miracle for me to even be capable of sexual awareness.

I nodded silently and kept listening to Xander as she talked about her ex, telling me how they used to finish each other’s sentences and eat from each other’s plates.

“I just hope I don’t keep feeling like I’m missing half of myself for the rest of my life,” she lamented as she found a place to park a couple of blocks away and killed the engine.

“You won’t,” I assured her softly.“Other things will come along and fill that empty spot.Whether you want them to or not.”

Looking out the window at some guy who was taking down old Christmas lights on his house, I thought of Zane.

“You lost someone too?”Xander asked softly as she remained seated in the driver’s seat.

I nodded.“He wasn’t a boyfriend.He was my babysitter who was nine years older than me, and he had a lot of issues with depression and his identity.”

No one in his family had understood him; they’d refused to call him anything but Sarah.People at school either criticized or avoided him.I’d probably been the only person to listen to his hopes and dreams.So I understood how the pit had dragged him down and claimed his soul for good.But still…

“He’d been my best friend before he killed himself,” I murmured.

“Damn,” Xander said.“I’m so sorry, hon.”

And that was another irritating thing about Xander; she somehow got me to talk and open up about things.

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