Page 154 of Zero Chance

Pulling her against me, I wound my arm around her shoulders and pressed our brows together as I rocked us back and forth.“I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s not so bad lately,” she admitted.“The darker days come fewer and fewer.Just watching you across a room always makes me feel better.”

“Yeah?”I smiled smugly, honored to hear that.When she nodded, I drew in a reviving breath.“Well, you don’t have to just watch anymore, you know.”

Waverly glanced up and blushed so hard I swear I could see it through the dark.

“I know,” she admitted, tucking a piece of her long bangs behind one ear and looking away again.“And that still feels utterly surreal to me.Like the other shoe is going to drop at any moment, and I’m going to lose it all.”

“You’re not,” I assured her.Only to ask, “Am I going to loseyou?”

She shot me a dismayed glance.“What?Why?”

Tipping my head toward the front door, I rolled my eyes.“For going complete asshole all over your mom a few minutes ago?”

“Oh.”She blinked a few times, then shook her head.“No.That didn’t cause you to lose me.I actually liked it.”When my eyebrows lifted, she bit her lip.“I mean, I don’t want you two to actually dislike each other, and I definitely don’t want all your encounters with her to be so brutal, but it did feel good to have someone stand up for me.”She sent me a worried glance.“I probably shouldn’t have liked that, though, huh?”

When I only shrugged, she searched my eyes, and all the scared uncertainty was still bleeding out of her bruised expression.“I’m sorry I’m not normal,” she said, her voice going hoarse.“I wish I could be more normal.”

Scoffing, I muttered, “I don’t.I like you just the way you are.”

Her eyes widened in surprise, so I leaned in and pecked a quick kiss on the end of her nose.“True story, Library Girl.Normal people freak me out.”

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide a smile.

“They do,” I insisted.“I get suspicious when a person starts acting too perfect.It’s like, why can’t you show your flaws, weirdo?What kind of sick shit are you hiding behind those fake veneers?”

When Waverly actually laughed, I went on.“Take Gerald Sprout for example.”I knew she’d recognize the name.No one could be a Westport native and not have heard ofhim.“That bastard was so eerily nice it made my skin crawl, and look what kind of perverted, rapist monsterheturned out to be.”

Shuddering, Waverly pressed closer to me, and I rubbed my nose along her cheek.“Hey, you want to hear the only piece of advice my counselor told my grief group that ever resonated with me?”

She gave a jerky nod of the head.“Yes.”

Smiling over just how sweetly innocent and beautifully vulnerable she looked at that moment, I started to stroke her hair.“Well, he brought these seven feathers to our share circle one day and gave one to each of us.He told us to examine how delicate and easily broken our feather was.Then he said, alone, we might feel just as weak and fragile as a single feather.But when put together, feathers can insulate a bird from the cold or keep it dry in water or camouflage it from its prey.A bird can’t fly without its feathers because they create its lift and drag.Feathers protect it from UV light and from getting bruises and scrapes.They’re fucking armor.So if you ever feel like you’re going to crumble from the weight and pain of the world, you find me, or Xander, or any other feather out there, and we’ll band together and help shield you.Okay?”

Waverly sniffed and wiped at her cheeks before lifting her arm to show me her feather tattoo.“I got this because of Parker.”

“Parker?”At first, the name meant nothing.Then my eyes flared, and I jabbed a finger into my sternum.“You mean,myParker?”

She bobbed her head in confirmation.“Parker Ohrley.He brought me a single feather while I was still in the hospital after my suicide attempt.And he told me exactly what you just did.That’s why I got this tattoo.So I would remember to look outwards when I was having a low day and know I’m not alone.”

My mouth fell open; I was unable to form words for the longest second.It was bizarre to hear that the feather talk from our counselor had stuck with Parker too.We’d lambasted poor Matt throughout the years, calling him a cheesy lame guide.But the man had always been there for us, and he’d tried his damnedest to help us.

Except realizing Parker had secretly appreciated Matt as much asIhad barely even registered because of the shock of learning he’d been there for Waverly after her suicide—that he’d evenknownher then—and never once mentioned it…

I didn’t much care for the uncomfortable, greasy glob of jealousy that slid over me.

“Just whatisyour relationship with him?”I asked slowly.

“Not at all what you’re thinking,” she said, looking into my eyes as she touched my face.“He’s just the one who saved me.”

When I squinted, not understanding, she went on.“He’s the one who came across me with all the empty bottles around me.He forced me to sit upright, then he stuck a finger down my throat and made me—he made me throw the pills back up.”

I pressed a fist to my chest, feeling helpless as I listened.

“And then, when I passed out, he loaded me into his car and drove me to the hospital.”

“I…” Shaking my head in shock, I admitted, “I had no idea.He never said anything.”

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