Page 16 of Zero Chance

“Of course, dear.”Mrs.Bergamen graciously took my phone, and she chatted happily with my mother, smiling and laughing before she handed the receiver back.

“All set,” she announced.

I brought the phone to my ear, and Mom said, “Call me if there areanyproblems.I hate it when you’re home alone.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I murmured before hanging up.

In front of me, Mrs.Bergamen said, “I’ll have Evan drop Gates off in the morning after breakfast.”

“Okay.”I faltered, not sure what to do now.“Thank you.”

“He’ll be just fine,” she assured as I shuffled a step back.“You go have fun now.”

She sent me an encouraging wave, and I mumbled my deference before turning away to start back to my car.

My mind was already spinning with thoughts of everything I could do now that I had the whole house to myself for the entire night.I could read anything I wanted in whichever room I pleased, watch whatever I liked on the television, and eat what I?—

Ooh, I could order Chinese.My family detested egg rolls and cashew chicken.I wouldn’t have to listen to anyone complain about the smell if I ate that.

Mouth already watering, I decided that’s exactly what I was going to do: eat out.

At home, I parked in my spot in the back and trudged up the flower-lined path to the rear entrance.The house smelled like lemon cleaner when I stepped inside, due to Mom giving the kitchen one last scrub-down before she left, I’m sure.

I glanced around the quiet, dimly lit room and flipped on a light before walking a full circle around the island.

After Zane killed himself, I had refused to go anywhere near the kitchen, so my parents had eventually sold that house and bought a new one.Except this place had an island in the kitchen, just like the last one.And to this day, I couldn’t seem to pass through the room without making sure there wasn’t a body just hanging out on the floor around the corner with its flesh sliced open.

When I did the full circle, finding the kitchen free of dead babysitters, I released a relieved breath and lugged my purse and backpack through the house and around to the staircase in the foyer.Upstairs, my room was on the left, above the kitchen.

I clomped inside and flipped on the light with my elbow, but that didn’t exactly brighten anything.The walls were gray, the hanging photos were in black and white.The bedspread, curtains, desk, and dresser were black.Even the one stuffed animal I had was a black and white cow.Color came in small splashes, either on bits of clothing or covers of books.

My room was about as dull and unimpressive as I was.

I used to like it that way.I actually preferred the lack of color because I didn’t have much use for life.I was basically just waiting until my time here was over.

Until about a year and a half ago during the first week of my freshman year at Haverick.

That’s when Mom had gotten me a job at the campus library through one of her connections, insisting I needed to get out and learn what the workforce was like.

I was training at the front desk, being instructed how to check in and out books whenhe’dwalked up to the counter, wanting to borrow a copy ofYour Blueprint for Pleasure.

The librarian had asked him to be patient with us because I was just learning my job, and Keene’s face lit up with a mischievous grin.

“I’m her first, huh?I’ll be sure to go gentle.”

And he’d turned that naughty smile my way, only to blink in surprise and fall almost immediately sober as he straightened before backing a respectful distance away.

It was the first time he’d focused his attention on me in almost ten years.

He’d clearly forgotten about the girl he’d met at the grief center on its opening day, while I’d never once lost track of him, not through all the years that had passed.

I would sit on the sidelines during open time, watching him and hissevenplay in the big conference room located in the middle of the center.Their group was loud and rowdy, and more often than not they were laughing and having fun.Even when one of them seemed to have a rough session, the others would crowd around until they inevitably cheered the sad member up.They were a true team.

I had equally hated and envied Keene all those years for having his six close friends and me having no one, until there he was again, standing three feet away across a counter from me and looking directly into my eyes in the library.

I swear, at that moment, something inside me woke up, stretched its arms over its head with a mighty yawn then started to pace restlessly back and forth in my chest.Whenever he returned to the library, that thing in there sat up alertly, taking notice and anxiously itching to come out and play.

It was as if he’d filled my life with color.And now, I could no longer enjoy my dull, pathetic room or my dull, pathetic existence that used to make me perfectly content.

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