Page 117 of Zero Chance

Not sure what to say—and feeling that glue that usually filled my mouth when I talked to people, the glue that kept me from speaking words—I shrugged and sent him an apologetic look.“I don’t know how to explain it.”

Worry entered his eyes.“Shit, you’re not one of those people who can never say no, and I basically forced you into everything we did, are you?”

“No.”I shook my head, unable to let him feel culpable in any way.“I only wanted to know what it’d be like.I—I knew you had to be pretty good at it since you’re always bragging about how many girls you’ve been with.”

“I mean—” He cringed, suddenly looking pained.“I wouldn’t call itbragging.And the number of girls you’ve probably seen me hit on isnotthe number I actually sleep with.”Making a face, he thought it through.“I probably have a fifteen to twenty percent success rate.Ifthat.”

I sent him a dry look.“That still means you’re sleeping with one or two new women each week if you only hit on ten.”

His eyes darted as his gaze went thoughtful before he returned his attention to me and began to nod.“Yeah.Okay, that sounds about right.”

Oh, geesh.In my book, that still made him a total player who expertly knew his way around sex.

Pointing at me, he frowned in dawning comprehension.“So… You just wanted to experience sex ingeneral?And I happened to be there, ripe for the plucking at that moment?It didn’t have anything to do with mespecifically?”

I didn’t answer because that wasn’t quite true.It was the very opposite of true, in fact.

“So what?You’re avirgin?”he blurted, still looking completely baffled.“You didn’t give head like someone who’s never done it before.”

All warmth and feeling drained from my face.Suddenly, I was ten again and Director Sprout was stroking my hair, telling me what a good girl I was.

“Just a little more suction.Less teeth, dear.Gentle with the testicles.There.That’s it now.Perfect…”

Nausea swirled up my throat like a javelin toss wanting to pierce its way from my body, stinging my eyes and nose.

“I—I’m not a virgin,” I managed to choke out as everything went dark at the corners, and I suddenly didn’t know if I was standing upright or falling.

“Hey.”A hand grabbed my arm, grounding me.“What—Waverly?”

I shuddered and blinked my vision clear before looking into his swampy, brown-green eyes full of worry.

“What the fuck just happened?”he demanded.“Where did you go?Are you okay?”

I nodded slowly, focusing on his face and growing more and more settled with each second I studied his features.

“I’m fine,” I said as if I hadn’t just been triggered into a near-insentient state.“Just a strange twinge.”I pressed a hand to my stomach to make the lie look more authentic.“But it’s gone.”

Keene still searched my face uncertainly, so I managed a trembling smile.“I’m fine now.”

He nodded, still watching me but beginning to relax.

And I exhaled purposely through my nose to keep my expression placid.But wow.I hadn’t experienced a trigger like that once during the whole night we’d hooked up on the gazebo.Not when I’d knelt before him or taken him into my mouth.Not when I’d climbed onto his face or when he’d pushed his fingers inside me.I’d been so focused on Keene and wanting to make him burn I hadn’t thought back to the origin ofhowI’d learned to do what I was doing.

But now that he’d reminded me he hadn’t been my first and I’d only been able to please him because of the monster from my past, I felt slightly sick.

My night with Keene was supposed to wash it all away so I could replace those plaguing memories with good ones.And Keenehadgiven me new, better things to remember.

So why could I still recall everything else too?How could I feel so dirty, yet also cleaned and revived at the same time?

“Waverly?”Keene asked.

I glanced up.There was so much concern and confusion in his eyes, I wanted to make it better for him.Like he had for me.

“You were right,” I told him, nodding soberly.“As much as it annoys me to admit it, you really did make everything better with your explanation.”

He grinned suddenly, and relief filled his features.He lifted his hands in his cocky, Keene way.“Hey, that’s what I do.I make life better.Now bring it in, Frank.”Grasping my wrist, he jerked me toward him until I bumped into his chest.Then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me.

Shuddering out a dreamy sigh, I sank against him and rested my cheek on his shoulder as I hugged him as well.

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