Page 8 of Zero Chance

But honestly, there was no preferable way to die.Because I really didn’twantto.

I still hoped for it, though, even when my deepest wish was the very opposite.Because I wanted out ofthisexistence.I wanted?—

“Hey!Frankie!”

Jumping at the call, I tore my attention from the cart of books I was sorting into Dewey Decimal order so I could reshelve them more easily, and I turned to peer over the checkout counter at the gorgeous blonde who waved at me as she entered the university library with loose, graceful strides.

Forgetting my morbid thoughts for the time being, I sent her a sickened smile.

“Oh.Hi,” I said, and I did a pretty lousy job of keeping the wince from my face as my features fell.

I shared an Early American Lit class with Xander Union, and for some reason, she’d taken a liking to me.I had no idea why.It definitely wasn’t because of my sparkling personality, that was for sure.Because I didn’t have one.

Maybe it was some kind of Winnie-the-Pooh syndrome; every Tigger needed its Eeyore.

Either way, as soon as she’d learned I wasLibrary Girl,as her roommates had taken to calling me, she’d started sitting next to me during every class, dragging me to lunch with her, and now apparently, she was seeking me out where I worked.

I really wished she’d stop, though.If she got too close, she was just going to learn what an utter disappointment I was.And she’d leave.

Trust me, I saw the irony in that: wishing she’d leave so she wouldn’t…leave.But it was one thing for people to leave you when they didn’t know you; it was quite another when they did.

Zane had known me.Better than anyone.And when he’d left?—

Well, apparently I was still trying to recover.

“We need to talk,” Xander broke into my thoughts as she strode to the counter with a short frown.

She was first cousins with the campus’s football god, Foster Union, and had been born and raised in Victoria, Texas, which was only about an hour and a half from Westport.She was supposed to be a sophomore, like me, but she’d taken a gap year so she could attend HaveU with her boyfriend, Liam, who was a year younger than her.

Except, according to her, Asshole Liam—her term—had accepted a scholarship to study abroad in Europe, and so he’d dumped her to go screw French whores instead—also her terminology.

I guess she and the French-whore-screwing asshole had already made a down payment on a rental in Westport when he’d up and left her with all the bills.

Xander hadn’t been able to afford the apartment by herself after that, so her cousin Foster had gotten her an “in” with a handful of his friends.Now, she roomed with them at what she referred to as Archer House.

Xander had volunteered a hundred percent of this information to me—because I certainly hadn’t asked for any of it—during our literature lectures while the professor had droned on about James Fenimore Cooper and Stephen Crane.

I wanted to be annoyed with her for taking me away from whatever I was supposed to be learning.I mean,The Red Badge of Couragewas totally about the fear of dying, which was right up my alley.But Dr.Gleek’s voice was as dull as dust, and it was impossible to focus on what he was saying, even when someonewasn’tgossiping in my ear.

Besides, Xander’s stories were just so fascinating; I couldn’t ignore her if I tried.She seemed to love life.That intrigued me because… Why?What was so special about life to actuallyloveit?

Maybe it was because she was everything perfect and beautiful and smart, which I kind of hated about her.

Five-foot-ten, double-D breasts—at the very least—twenty-seven-inch waist—I’m sure—brilliant blue eyes, a butt that made guys whistle and gawk, and her hair—sweet mercy, don’t even get me started on the hair.No one should have luscious, flowing, cornsilk locks like Xander did.It just wasn’t fair to the rest of humanity.

What was worse, she was super nice too, plus insightful, sweet, funny, and considerate.She was always offering me food from her tray at lunch.She asked me about myself and actuallylistenedto my answers.Andshe’d given me a cutesy nickname.

I mean,Frankie?Really?

How adorable was that?

The problem was, I didn’t do adorable.I didn’t do nice, or friendly, or anything she did.And when I’d told Xander as much, she just laughed this really awesome laugh that probably made sprites and fairies jealous, and she’d hooked her arm through mine to rest her temple on my hair, where she sighed as if utterly refreshed before claiming she liked my honesty.

If I were a lesbian, I’m sure I’d be flat-out in love with her.She was exactly the kind of person I could never even hope to be.

But perfection like her drew attention.Lots of attention.

As I glanced around the library, I noticed pretty much every eye in the place following her to the front counter, and I sank a little lower in my chair because, yep, here it came.Now they were looking my way and no doubt wondering why someone as flawless as her would evenwantto communicate with someone as unremarkable as me.

---