Page 49 of Zero Chance

“Parker and Hope drove you home?”

“Yeah.”

“But what happened at the party?Why are you crying?”

“Nothing.I just—sorry.I was ready to leave, that’s all.All the people and the sounds; it was overwhelming for an introvert like me.”

“Frankie—”

“I don’t think I’m going to be very good at this,” I told her abruptly.“At, you know, at friend stuff.You should probably find another one.I—I’m sorry, Xander.Goodbye.”

And I hung up on her.

Because, gah, she’d be better off without a complete mess like me.

For about half an hour there, things had been amazing.I’d felt great.I’d reached out for the first time and tried to connect with another person.

No, scratch that.Xanderhad reached out to me, but still… I’d connected with her.And not just her either.She and Oaklynn and then Hope had made me feel like a part of something.I’d felt like I was on top of the world, right up until I’d followed Keene outside.And then I’d leaped right off the world and into the stars.

It still amazed me how I had not only been able to go through with everything we’d done together, but I’d actually enjoyed it too.

I had enjoyed ita lot.He’d been everything I’d dreamed he’d be.

For those perfect minutes in his arms, I hadn’t felt broken or faulty or stupid.

I’d been proud of myself.And life had been good.He’d been having fun and enjoying it too, just as much as I had.

Until the real Makayla showed up, and suddenly I became a lying fraud who’d tricked him.

God, why had I done that?

Why hadn’t I just—I really didn’t understand myself sometimes.

I should’ve been honest and upfront from the beginning.

But he’d put his arms around me and been all happy and flirty, and I—I went with it, wanting to live in that perfect fairy tale moment, where I wasn’t…me.

And I made everything so much worse.

I’d never be a normal person.Mom reminded me of that daily with all her restrictions and worries.Why hadn’t I just listened to her?

Pushing my way to my feet, I went to the kitchen, where I had to check the floor all the way around the island for a dead body.

After the disaster my night had been, it seemed almost a given I would find blood and death in front of the refrigerator.

But there was nothing, which pretty much shocked my system and allowed the pit to drag me deeper into its depths.

I went up to my room, changed out of Hope’s clothes, pulled on some underwear—all the while wondering who was going to find my lost pair in the morning after the party—and I slipped into some pajamas before crawling into bed.

From there, I gathered the pit around me like it was my very own security blanket, snuggling deep into its suffocating layers of depression and self-doubt.

I cried for myself like the loser I was, wishing I could be stronger than this.

Better.

But I wasn’t.So I just had to survive.I had to get some sleep and make it through the night, and then tomorrow…

Tomorrow, everything would be lighter.A fresh start to try again—except I’d still be me, and Parker and Hope would know what I’d done.It was only a matter of time until they shared my identity with Keene.And then the entire world would know how awful I was.

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