Page 1 of Zero Chance

PROLOGUE

KEENE

February 2014

“Did you remember to put underwear on, Keene dear?”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Margaret.”My grandma Dugger—aka, Nana—threw up her hands in disgust before I could answer the question, and she sent my grandma Laterman—Gram—a deep scowl.“Could you be any crasser to the poor boy?”

Pinching her lips tightly, Gram lifted her eyebrows right back at Nana and slapped her hands to her hips as she sniffed.“Well, he never remembers to wear any.Just how polished and refined would he appear, running around with the end of his willy hanging out the hem of his shorts?”

I cringed, thinking Gram was seriously overestimating the size of my willy, and besides, I was wearing jeans.

But neither woman seemed to care about that.

Facing off on the front porch of Nana and Grandpa Dugger’s house, the two grandmothers scowled each other down as if facing off for a WWE match.

“And how dare you talk tomeabout impropriety?”Gram ranted on.“If you’d raisedyourson to be in any way an honorable man, we wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place.Where is that no-account scoundrel, anyhow?Doesn’t he know his boy’s having a big day?”

Worried my dad might actually show up, I glanced down the block both ways, hoping Ididn’tsee his battered Ford bumbling up the street.

When he didn’t appear, I exhaled in relief and returned my attention to the grandmas just as Nana drew herself up stiffly and said, “He’s busy.”

“Oh yeah?”Gram shot back.“Busy whoring?Or busy drinking?”

From there, the two women really lit into each other, flinging insults like monkeys flung turds in a zoo.

Stuck between them, I shifted my feet anxiously because it was time to go.

“Psst,” someone hissed from behind me, and I glanced over to see my grandpas camped out on the porch swing together as if it were a fine, breezy summer day and they were getting ready to enjoy a big, cold glass of sweet tea.

When Grandpa—my grandfather on the Dugger side—patted the free space between them, I slumped over and plopped down.

I guess we weren’t goinganywhereanytime soon.

Grandpa Laterman—or who I called Pop-Pop—ruffled my hair in greeting.“So are you wearing underpants or not?”

I sighed.“Yes, sir.”

“Good boy,” Grandpa answered and pulled an orange Life Savers from his pocket for me to suck on.

Swinging my feet, I unwrapped the candy and popped it into my mouth as the three of us waited for the two ladies to finish their spat.

I alternated living with both sets of grandparents—one seven-day stretch with one and the next seven days with the other.And every time one pair dropped me off at the other’s house, the two grandmas went at each other’s throats like a pair of tom cats.But today we had somewhere to be.

“Are we gonna be late?”I finally asked, glancing up at Pop-Pop.

“Nah,” he answered with an easy smile as he bumped his elbow into mine and winked like he always did when he had a secret to share.“We told the ladies it started half an hour earlier than it really does.”

“Still a genius idea, Donny,” Grandpa told Pop-Pop.

“Thanks, Steve,” Pop-Pop replied with a proud smile.

My two grandfathersalwaysgot along.

“Why do you and Donny get to take him to his first day at the center, anyway?”Nana demanded.

The twograndmothersrarely hit it off.

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