Page 104 of Just My Type of wrong guy

“Even if something did happen, you’re adults, you can talk it through and decide to move on, right? Like you did after getting all touchy-feely in someone else’s basement, right?”

“It’s not the same thing. This is our house, our life…” I take a deep breath and tilt my head back, resting it on the wall. “I’ve always had family. I was like Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious. My parents’ friends were family, their kids were family. When mom died and my dad shut himself off from the world, all I had left was you. And I love you, you’re my best friend, and you always will be.”

“But?”

“I lost everything else,” I say, with the uncomfortable taste of bile rising in my throat. “There was pain, a weight, I guess… It felt like my life was an endless tunnel. But somehow, A.J. shone, showing me the way out. He lit up my entire life, became someone I enjoy being around.” I swallow hard before saying the words that will make Thalia fanfic even more. “And he’s my favorite person in the world.”

“Favorite. Person. In. The. World?”

“A.J. didn’t know me before, Thalia. He only knows Alexandra. Not someone’s daughter, not the actress from a soap opera, not the singer of a teen phenomenon… He got to know me just as I am, and he likes me. And I needed that so much, cousin. Someone who pulled me out of the quicksand I was stuck in…” I confess, feeling my throat burn with the tears I don’t want to shed.

“And you and this guy falling in love and living a beautiful story is a problem, why?”

“Because I worked too hard for my career that I can’t afford to be known as the girl who got a job dating a guy from the band,” And besides, it’s not like I’d ever fall for A.J. — we’re just friends. Friends who got a little too handsy a few nights ago, sure… but still. Just friends. “Being ‘just’ someone’s wife was the fate of all the women in our family, and you know that, Thalia. I’m amazed that you’d even consider such a thing.”

“Great professional answer. Almost rehearsed, I’d say,” Thalia mocks. “Unfortunately, I’m not talking to an executive here, but to my cousin. The one who hasn’t dated in forever, who built walls around herself when Aunt Tereza passed away, who never let anyone get too close… until A.J. showed up. And now, here you are, telling me you can’t get involved with him, your favorite person. What are you so afraid of?”

Nothing. That’s what I tell myself — but it’s not true.

“I don’t know. The only thing I can think about right now is that I can’t afford to lose him.”

But part of what scares me is the obvious: what if this goes wrong?

“You don’t even know if anything happened…”

“I woke up in his shirt, and he woke up without clothes, that’s a lot of intimacy, even if we didn’t…”

“And what are you gonna do? Run away from him forever?”

“I don’t know about forever, but at least until I can deal with it.”

I shrug, giving my most honest answer.

Thalia gets up and opens the reserved area door. I hear other people entering the bathroom for the first time since she picked up, and I hear her sigh.

“You’re twenty-four, Alexandra. Act like it, okay?” my cousin reprimands me, and I almost roll my eyes. “I need to eat before my lunch break ends, we’ll talk later.”

“Thanks for picking up, it really helped to have someone to listen, even with all the judgment and stuff…” I joke, but the line goes silent, as if she was going to say goodbye but gave up. I open my mouth to say goodbye, but her voice cuts me off.

“If A.J. is your favorite person, try not to go too far from yous, okay?”

“I won’t,” I promise, and Thalia hangs up.

I get up, even though I don’t feel like it, and as I walk to the sink, my bare feet touch the cold floor while my eyes wander through the bathroom. I take the towel and place it on the sink, with only one question in my mind:

What are you so afraid of?

Chapter Thirty-Three – A.J.

I’ll be the one (I’ll be the one)

Who will make all your sorrows undone

I’ll be the light (I’ll be the light)

When you feel like there’s nowhere to run

I’ll be the one to hold you

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