Page 7 of I've Got You

The clearing of his throat brought my attention back to him. “So…?”

“So?”

“Was that your first, you know, real kiss?”

I blanched, then tightened my jaw. This was far too gossipy, too personal for me.

“It’s okay.” Carter offered me a small smile. “I shouldn’t have asked. But…” Yeah, he really couldn’t help himself. “…you know, if you ever want to ask anything, chat about anything, you can… with me.”

Wide-eyed, I stared at him, overwhelmed by his offer and the fact he was so nice to me. I didn’t deserve nice. I didn’t deserve understanding. Unable to answer, I nodded.

He smiled and took another sip of his coffee. The whole time, his gaze remained on me, and I fought hard not to squirm under his scrutiny. I remembered back to a time when life was simpler. There was just me, friends I kept at a distance and who didn’t know the real me, and a family whose rule was absolute. It wasn’t perfect, but I’d trained myself from such an early age to know how to behave, how to act, how to hide. Fear had ruled me, similar to the driving emotion that did so today. It had been a miserable existence, but undoubtedly easier in day-to-day survival.

As I looked at Carter, I stifled a groan. My life was definitely no longer simple. “What?” I dared ask, knowing he was itching to carry on speaking.

“Have you spoken to Denver?”

I shook my head. “No.” I didn’t tell him that I hadn’t returned any of his calls.

“But he’s called you, right?” Carter continued. I gave him a reluctant nod. “Perhaps you need to pick up?”

I held back rolling my eyes and the slip of “No shit, Sherlock,” that desperately wanted to escape. With his bright eager eyes still peering at me, I finally responded, “I will. Just figuring out my next move.”

His lips pursed at that and his nose scrunched. After a moment, he took a gulp of coffee and then seemed set for battle as he placed his mug firmly down and straightened up. “I think there’s a lot here on offer for you, and leaving seems a little going backward considering everything that’s happened.” He paused a moment as if waiting for a reaction. When I didn’t speak, he sighed. “Listen, I know you’ve been through so much, and to be honest, I have no idea what you’re going through, but please don’t make a decision just yet.”

I huffed out a breath and leaned my head back. He was right, but I was so over thinking about this shit and overthinking everything.

“So stay, at least for a little while. Maybe give yourself another couple of months at least.”

“I’ll think about it.” It was all I’d been doing anyway, so giving him this wasn’t a big deal.

Carter smiled in victory. “And pick up the phone next time Denver calls. Okay?”

I gave him a noncommittal hum, not quite sure I was there yet. My godfather was actually a decent guy. It always surprised me how he’d managed to remain friends with my parents. They were so damn different.

I was lucky. I knew this. A position waited for me. But the thought of returning, especially to a job set up by my family, to a profession I’d been expected to take, made nausea sit in my gut. Before coming out, I’d played the game, bowed down and gone through the motions. And while I wasn’t all the way out of the closet to the world at large—just to Carter and his inner circle—the idea of going back and living in the lie demanded of me was too much.

I couldn’t do it anymore.

And that left me clueless.

Chapter Five

DAVIS

“Hey,Craig, can you unlock the door, please?”

Craig, one of my part-timers, dutifully nodded and did just that. I smiled my thanks and turned back to the kitchen. Yesterday we’d had a delivery, and I’d ordered the ingredients to bake mini chocolate and espresso Bundt cakes. They were a weakness of mine, which was the reason I rarely made them. Far too often I ate a good third of what I’d made to sell, which was a bitch on the minimal effort I made at keeping fit and healthy. But still, they were freakin’ delicious and worth the time and energy to make. It also was apparent I wasn’t the only addict of caffeine and chocolate in this town either. Combining the two meant there’d be a bigger line at the counter by midmorning, or earlier if news got around.

I cleaned the stainless steel counters after placing the rest of the cakes to cool. With the kitchen clean, I peered out of the large hatch into the filling shop front and smiled. This sleepy town was a far cry from where I’d imagined myself, but with how busy we were and the hours I managed to keep with the help of my staff, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Libby was worth it all.

Watching Sandy at the coffee machine while Craig managed the till and juggled the orders, I considered it was probably time to extend my crew. Not only could we do with the extra help during peak times, but I wanted a few additional hours off. Every spare hour I had was dedicated to my girl. I loved every moment. Hell, just the thought of every new milestone made my heart clench with how fiercely I loved her. But, selfishly, it seemed opportune for some me time too.

The digs from Tanner and Carter, even though well meant, had hit their mark. I was lonely. I felt shit for admitting it to myself. As a dad, it almost seemed impossible I could feel such a way, but my feelings were real and try as I might, I couldn’t ignore them anymore. While a casual hookup sounded great, ’cause hell, I needed to get my dick wet, my family life and “casual” just didn’t have the right ring to it. I’d only just started coming to terms with the idea of meeting someone, largely because of seeing what Tanner had created with Carter. A part of me wanted that. Okay, it was a large part, but finding anyone good enough to be in Libby’s life… shit, I couldn’t even begin to fathom how that would work.

I headed out to the front to give the guys a hand to clear the morning rush. I greeted the many regulars and took over gathering the orders. Within an hour, the queue had died down, and I took the time to restock the front counter with fresh cakes and pastries. Sandy and Craig coped well for sure, and Phil was just as efficient, if not better. Between the four of us we managed, just, but looking at the chatting customers as they inhaled morning pastries, it was definitely time to advertise.

I told Craig and Sandy just that. “Don’t suppose you know anyone who’s looking?”

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