Page 24 of I've Got You

For the first time in my sorry-ass life, not only was I reaching out and genuinely trying to do someone a kindness, but I was also lusting over a guy. The significance of the latter was not that it was the first time, but rather, for the first time ever, I was actually in a position to do something about my attraction. Openly. With no darkened cubicle in a dodgy club in sight. No looking over my shoulder in fear of discovery. And the most significant, it was with a man who was kind and cocky and intelligent and as hot as sin.

Shit, being with the guy at work…. Ha! I scoffed and shook my head at my reflection. I didn’t know the first thing about working in a café, serving people, or making coffee. I used pods, for Christ’s sake, but still, I wanted to do this for him. And admittedly, a little for me too. But still, I was fully aware I was playing with fire when it came to Davis.

He was not a guy to fuck with.

To fuck… maybe.

Goddamn flutters ran riot in my stomach, and my cock twitched at the thought.

But still, he had a kid.

I looked at myself hard. “He. Has. A. Kid.” And I couldn’t wait to meet her. Pursing my lips, I tensed and gripped the sink, waiting for it. The panic, the need to smack some sense into myself. Nothing. It didn’t happen. I was left white-knuckled, hard, and still wondering why, for such an intelligent guy, I could be such a fool. Burn. That was what was going to happen. It was inevitable when I played with fire, especially with a damn flame so out of my league.

Shit, it was no good.

Just like the past few weeks, I switched into a version of autopilot. When I thought too hard about being gay, it scared the shit out of me. Dressed and with keys in hand, I pulled my front door closed and locked it. A few steps later, I was knocking on a bright red door that still looked freshly painted. Footsteps made me shake out my hands to loosen up, while a deep bark reverberated around the space. I was too tense. Too everything these days.

Tanner. The guy still struggled with me, I knew, and I was pretty sure he hated sharing his space with me, but desperate times and all that. Carter had become something more than just a former colleague over the past few weeks. Shit, I was sure he was the first true friend I’d had ever. He knew one of the most real versions of me, one no one else really knew, one I’d held back all these years. As such, Carter made no qualms with the fact that he’d taken me under his wing. Tanner had begrudgingly accepted that.

Didn’t mean he’d forgiven me or stopped being a dick though.

“Come in,” Tanner said with a sigh. He turned and was heading toward the kitchen before I could even respond.

I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

“Dr. Dickwad’s here.” I heard the voice coming from the kitchen. “What?” Tanner continued. A moment later, I heard a loudoomph. “What was—”

“Stop being an asshole, or you can cook your own food tonight….” The voice quieted a little so I couldn’t quite hear, especially as Rex took that moment to barrel through the open doorway, almost taking my legs out.

“Jesus, Rex.” I reached down and stroked behind his ears. “I bet Tanner’s trained you to do that, huh?”

Carter’s snort drew my attention up and to him. “I wouldn’t put it past him.” He rolled his eyes. “How’re things?” He reached out for my hand. I extended my arm and shook his hand, offering a genuine smile.

I was right to have stopped by. There was no way I’d survive the night or get any sleep if I was left with my own thoughts and didn’t have the chance to talk this stuff through.

“I’m not interrupting dinner, am I?”

“Not quite, and even so, you’re more than welcome. I’ll set you a plate.”

There was no point in feigning politeness and arguing. Early on in our friendship, Carter had made it clear that BS of any kind in his home wasn’t allowed. Just like refusing a meal was a cardinal sin, apparently. I didn’t mind the latter, as Carter was an excellent cook.

“Thanks.” I followed Carter into the kitchen and relaxed in the warmth of the room. Food was on the stove, soft music was playing, and something smelled so good my stomach rumbled.

“Come on. You can prep the salad.” Carter headed to the refrigerator and pulled out the ingredients for me while I went to the sink to wash my hands. “Drink?” he asked.

“No. I’m good for now, thanks.” While I could definitely do with a drink, I’d found myself all but wading in booze over the past few weeks and had made a conscious decision to cut back. Drinking my woes away wasn’t a habit I wanted to fall into, and with me starting at the café tomorrow, the last thing I wanted was to be cloudy. I imagined I’d be tired as hell, based on how wound up I was, and alcohol wouldn’t help that any.

“I’m just heading out to the shed for a few.” Tanner approached Carter and pressed a kiss to his temple before his eyes momentarily passed over me.

Carter grinned at him, and I didn’t miss the wink he sent Tanner’s way. As soon as it was just the two of us and I was washing the lettuce, Carter moved around the center island and perched on one of the high stools facing me. “So?” He dragged the word out and his brows lifted when I looked at him. “Care to share?”

I rolled my eyes. “By that, I’m assuming you already know everything, so what’s the point?”

His lips twitched. “Well, I don’t know your version or reasons….”

With a sigh, I focused on slicing the tomatoes. “Two birds and all that.” I cast a quick glance at Carter, who didn’t look impressed. Instead, both brows were still raised, and his lips were pressed together. “He needed some help and was struggling. He’s a good guy. I need something to do, even if for a few days or weeks while I get my shit straight.”

Silence greeted me and the same pressed lips, but this time his brows had dipped and his eyes seemed almost sad. I did not want anyone’s sympathy for this clusterfuck of a mess I’d got myself in, especially not his. I didn’t deserve it.

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