Page 47 of Forbidden Sins

“Just a little seasick,” I manage. “I’ve never been on a boat, er…ship? Before.” I force a smile, and he looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s a yacht,” he says pointedly. “I would think a girl like yourself, raised in luxury, would know the difference.”

“Right now I just know that I feel a little seasick,” I manage, staggering to the nearest lounge seat and sinking into it. “I’m sorry. I just…need a minute.”

Vito looks around, clearly at a loss, and I can’t help but think that if Sebastian were here, he’d get me water. He’d make sure I was taken care of.

He motions to a uniformed steward, who uncorks a bottle of champagne and pours a flute for me, holding it out. I squint at him in the bright sunlight, accepting it so as not to seem rude, but champagne is the last thing I can imagine drinking right now.

“You look as if you’re not enjoying yourself,bella,” Vito says, accepting a glass of whiskey from the steward and sitting down next to me, far too close. The thick scent of his champagne only makes my stomach churn even more. “I hope I’m not boring you already. We’re not even engaged yet.” He grins at me, as if we’re sharing some inside joke, as if our engagement is a done deal already. The smile fades quickly when I struggle to return it, and I see his gaze sweep over me, calculating. Like a buyer assessing priceless art, or a jeweler examining a particularly valuable gemstone. As if he’s deciding whether the return on his investment will be worth the purchase.

“I’m sorry,” I manage, forcing myself to take the tiniest sip of the champagne. It’s very dry, and I feel desperate for a glass of water. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

It’s not a lie. I couldn’t sleep, waiting to hear Sebastian’s fate, and I hardly slept afterward, thinking of his tortured body downstairs. I glance at Vito, wondering if he’ll show any sign that he heard about what happened last night, but he just nods.

“I’m sorry to hear that,bella,” he murmurs, and I wince at the familiarity. “The excitement must have made it difficult.”

I nearly choke on my champagne, a tremor of fear running through me. I can’t imagine that my father would have wanted it to be known that he caught me in the gardens with Sebastian; it could ruin my chances at marriage. But if Vito did hear…

“Excitement?” I manage, as the hum of the yacht’s engines starting up vibrates gently through the dock. I force myself not to think about Sebastian or the motorcycle ride, how he made me feel then… or since.

Vito gives me an indulgent smile, tossing back his whiskey as the yacht pulls away from the dock. The water slaps against the hull, salt spraying into the sunlit air, and I close my eyes briefly. Sebastian is in pain while I’m sipping champagne and enjoying a sailing trip with one of the men in the running to win both me and the Gallo fortune as a prize. That thought feels like its own kind of torture.

Vito turns, accepting a fresh glass of whiskey from the steward. “The excitement of the future, of course, Estella.” He taps his glass lightly against mine. “To new beginnings,” he adds, his gaze sweeping over my face, down the line of my neck, and to the swell of my breasts at the neckline of my dress.He’s not even bothering to be subtle,I think, feeling the burn of bile in my throat as I force another sip of champagne. The bubbles of the dry champagne burn going down, too.

“Is this a beginning?” I manage to ask, as lightly as I can. I have to force myself not to flinch when he throws his arm around my shoulders, keeping myself very still.

“Your father seems to think so,” Vito says carelessly, sounding pleased. “I think we’re very close to coming to an understanding. And Antony Gallo is a man whose opinions I respect. To be his heir would be a great honor.”

I press my lips together, unable to think of an answer that won’t betray what I’m really feeling about the situation. I take another sip of champagne instead, swallowing it down as I look at the lapping water and the wide, blue sky.I could be happy,I think,if it were Sebastian here with me instead. If it were Sebastian with me, anywhere.I don’t need a yacht to be happy. I need someone who loves me, who sees me, who understands me. Vito will never be any of those things.

He sees me only as another valuable possession to be acquired, an asset to add to his portfolio.

Not as a person to be loved or cherished. I honestly don’t think a man like him is capable of it.

And what if one of the others were?I try to picture a life with Nico Adamos, who is younger, closer to my age, someone I could try to connect with. But I can’t imagine finding a true connection there, either. I don’t think I could ever feel for someone else what I feel for Sebastian.

“You’re far away again,bella,” Vito cuts in, and I hear an edge of annoyance in his tone. Men like him don’t appreciate feeling ignored, I know that. I turn, forcing a smile onto my lips.

“I’m just tired, like I said,” I murmur. “I’ll try to be more present. This day you’ve planned for us is lovely.”

“There will be lunch later. Fresh seafood, so I hope you don’t have an allergy.” He laughs as if he’s made a particularly funny joke. “And we can swim later, if you’d like,bella. I have suits aboard if you didn’t bring one.”

The thought of this man seeing me in a swimsuit makes my skin crawl. But if he’s the one I end up marrying, he’ll see me infar less, and do much more than look. Nausea sweeps through me again at the thought.

“Maybe,” I murmur noncommittally. “Although the view is so beautiful from here. I’m enjoying it, really.”

Vito moves a bit closer, his leg pressing against mine. “As am I,” he replies, and his hand behind me, so close to my shoulder, drifts down my arm. “I know I’ve been entrusted with you today, and I would never do anything to break Antony Gallo’s trust, of course. Not when our engagement is all but arranged. But seeing you like this, today—” He sucks in a breath through his teeth. “It’s difficult not to touch you,bella. You are as beautiful as your father told me you would be.”

I press my lips together, forcing them into a polite smile. “I’m glad to hear you think so highly of me,” I say softly, trying to make the words sound genuine. Across the water, I see a seagull dive down, emerging with something silver and wriggling. I feel like that fish, right now, prey trapped in the beak of something that wants to devour me whole.

How can I ever live like that, feeling like prey, when I know what it feels like to be so much more? When I know how it feels to be seen not as a possession, but as a woman, desired so passionately that it took my breath away?

I don’t know how I can bear it.

“Together, we will be unstoppable,” Vito murmurs, his fingers curling around my shoulder. “I will make the Gallo name and fortune even greater than it was under your father’s command. Our children will inherit something that spans further than just the territory in the States. I have great plans for our family,bella. With the resources I bring, your father will see his legacy grow to heights he’s only dreamed of.”

Children. The word feels like a blow, and I bite my lip, nodding as if in agreement. But I can feel the blood draining from my face, my hands suddenly cold as I grip the champagneflute. I can’t imagine bearing this man’s children—having a family with him, however cold and distant that family might be. The thought of his touch makes me want to vomit.

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