Page 97 of Did They Break You

I clutch the fabric to my chest, bowing my head, letting the tears fall as I cry all over my new clothes. At the girl I wanted to be—wantto be.

My shoulders shake, my chest caving.Fuck you, Silas.

Fuck. You.

But he’s not here, and he doesn’t care.

Just like Cortland didn’t that night, when I couldn’t say the right words to him. When I couldn’t get him to stop breaking my heart into pieces in those woods.

No one is around.

No one cares.

CHAPTER

TWENTY-SIX

REMI

I pulldown my sleeves as Dr. Ravi eyes me.

“Did you sleep okay last night?” she asks me quietly.

I know she can see the thick, dark circles under my eyes. “No.” I chew the inside of my cheek, shifting in my chair. Feeling his hands on me. His words.

Mine, repeated back to him.“That’s right, Cortland.”

I feel heat on my cheeks, humiliation rolling through me.

I think of the clothes I ruined. My stepdad’s voice in my head.

Dr. Ravi frowns. “Why is that?”

I stare at the window behind her head and shrug, not speaking. If I do, my mouth might say something dumb all over again.“Keep your mouth shut and listen when I’m talking to you, Remi. Nothing you say contributes to our conversations.”Silas’s words. Monotone. That was far worse than his neglect. Than his yelling.

“Remi, is there something you want to?—”

I stand abruptly, grabbing my backpack and hauling it over my shoulder. “I have to go.”

“Remi.” She stands, too. A first for one of our sessions. She didn’t even do that when I was bawling my eyes out in here.

I lift my chin, fingers clenched tight around my bag. “I’m fine,” I lie to her, speaking slowly, like my stepdad used to talk to me. Like I was a child. “I’m fine.” I turn my back to her and head to the door.

She says my name one more time, but I ignore her, my skin crawling as I think about what I let him do last night. How close I let him be. How much what I said was all true.

I’m his.

I don’t want to be.

I hate myself for it.

But I haven’t been with anyone since him.

I open the door, close it softly behind me. And when I look up, Cortland Adler is staring right back at me.

I close my eyes tight, hoping maybe when I open them again, he’ll be gone.

But of course he isn’t.

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