Page 82 of Did They Break You

As if they both don’t believe I deserve it. What the fuck is wrong with women? They hate you one minute, want to coddle you the next? Just like my goddamn mom.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I answer Dr. Ravi, my tone even. I turn away from her and walk down the hall, not bothering to turn back when she calls my name again.

“Why wouldyou want to be anywherenearher after what she did to you?” Maya demands, her arms over her chest as she paces in front of me, anger carved into every inch of her oval face. Her dark hair is a mess and she looks like she needs to sleep. I figured out one of her cheerleading friends saw me walking to the graveyard and followed me, saw I was talking to Remi. She had a dick appointment, so she conveniently forgot to tell Maya until today.

Amazing.

“Calm down, Maya,” I say, leaning back against my pillows, my laptop on my lap. I’m messaging Tristan, only half-listening to my ranting girlfriend.

I think about Remi’s words, about getting a boyfriend.

I clench my jaw, blanking out as I stare at my screen, imagining what it would be like, knowing she was fucking someone else…Fuck.

But my dick grows hard, knowing she hasn’t. At least, that’s what she said.

I reach under my laptop and adjust myself through my sweats, then force myself to focus on Tristan’s messages.

Tristan is the Best

Mom isn’t good for us. Session was good today. Therapist said he’d talk to Dad. I think maybe I should keep staying with him, don’t you?

My heart sinks, staring at my brother’s text message on my screen. He’s right. Of course he’s right. He shouldnevergo back to Mom. But she makes the most money in the family, and she’s the woman. Those two things will not work well in Dad’s favor for getting custody.

Then again, Tristan is thirteen. Maybe he’d be able to decide for himself. Either way, it’s why I’m here. To help.

He begged Dad not to bring the cops or social services into the fight he had with Mom after we figured out shedidhit him, and I can’t blame him.

Thinking of the questions the detectives asked me, the shit my lawyers told me that Remi was asked, it makes me feel hot all over, uncomfortable. Thinking back to that time at all makes me feel sick.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember. I can’t recall.”

That’s what I said to nearly every question. Except a few key ones.

“Did she say no? Did she fight back? Did she tell you to stop?”

No. Not one fucking time.

And neither did Tristan.

I don’t want him to go through that.

You’re right, bud. I’ll talk to Dad, too. Don’t worry, you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to.

I know that isn’t true, and I know Dad is barely hanging on with finances over the little place he’s got. He took some time off work to stay home with Tristan, but he’s going back soon and that doesn’t make me feel much better.

I have a trust fund that Mom’s hanging onto and a little money in savings my grandpa passed on to me. I know the way things are between Mom and me now, I’ve got about as much a chance of getting her money as I do of getting Remi to let me knock her up and take her to West Virginia for the rest of my natural life.

I close my eyes a second, flexing my jaw.What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Are you even listening to me?” Maya demands.

No.I snap my eyes up, close my laptop and reach over to set it on my dresser. Maya stops her pacing, her hands fisted at her sides. She’s in tight jeans, a halter crop top in EU colors.

Her eyes look bleary, and I know she’s really upset about what she heard about Remi.If she only knew the truth.

I bite my lip, sitting up straighter, my legs stretched out on the bed. “Maya, we were just talking,” I say, not wanting her to have an excuse to go after Remi. “I was running, and she was?—”

“You should know she’s always in graveyards, talking to her dead fucking mom or something.”