Page 73 of Did They Break You

Please don’t, because I just might kiss you back.

“I’m not even sure you’re telling the truth, baby. I mean, you lied once already.”

My stomach somersaults at his words—the truth in them—as I think about the morning afterthat night.The glass shattering. Silas’s bleary eyes. His cold words.

Cortland arches a brow but he says nothing for a moment, just watching me. Then he leans back and shifts his arm so it’s around my shoulders, adjusts my backpack with his other hand. “Let’s go before I bury you out here in this graveyard.”

I furrow my brows, wondering if he really does know the truth. But he wouldn’t. How could he? “When you say things like that, just so you know, you soundmorelike a psychopath and notless.”

He shrugs. “Good thing you already know I’m the worst.” He pulls me closer.

I let my feet shuffle toward him, not resisting. Then I turn my head to look up at him as he squeezes me to his side and try one more thing.

“Maya wouldn’t like this.” There’s jealousy threaded through my words, and I hate that.

He stares straight ahead, adjusting my backpack over his shoulder again, like a nervous habit. “Yeah,” he agrees. “But despite your bullshit,I do.”

CHAPTER

TWENTY

CORTLAND

I tossand turn hours after I walked Remi to her dorm.

I don’t even know why I did it but seeing her in that cemetery all alone, there’s no way in hell I was going to leave her.

I slide my phone from under my pillow and stare at my background. Mountains at Sandstone Falls up in West Virginia. I think Remi would love it there. Gritting my teeth, I close my eyes a second.

The house is quiet, and I have class in the morning, but I just. Can’t. Fucking. Sleep.

She walks all alone at night, hanging out at parties drinking too much, sitting around in cemeteries without paying attention to her surroundings. Ely is supposed to be safe, but so was West River, right? So werewe.

Ever since I watched my friends do one of the worst things we could do to a person, I can’t help but see monsters everywhere.

Including in my own fucking mirror.

I think about my first session tomorrow and wonder if Dr. Ravi will know what I did. Who I am.

I think of Tristan going to his session. I know it’ll go well. What’s not to love about him? Nice and polite, smart as a whip.Heshould be the golden boy. But Mom doesn’t see that. Just like Maya, it seems only the worst women idolize me.

But not her.

I open my eyes and before I know what the fuck I’m doing, I’m opening up a text to Remi. I don’t even know if it’s her number anymore because she never responded to my last text. I don’t know if she’s blocked me.

But I can’t help it.I text her anyway.

REMI

As the night fades into Thursday morning, I hold my phone in my hands, Cortland’s message staring at me in the dark.

Cortland

How do you sleep?

I think about not answering him as I let my eyes flutter closed. After he walked me back, Sloane wasn’t done with class and I washed my face, brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas, and with the marijuana still in my system, I feel relaxed.

Sloane will come in soon and I don’t want to hide this from her. I can’t be texting him after what happened. I’m already keeping too many secrets from my best friends.

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