Page 70 of Did They Break You

I laugh out loud, tuning her out. “You broke your son’s glasses off his face when you hit him, let him cry in his room before he took a knife to his wrist and haven’t once gone to see him, but you want to talk about slander?”I know she’s going to lose her goddamn mind, and I know that house I’m in is being paid forby her, but I don’t care when I say, “I don’t have time for your bullshit right now, Mom.” I end the call, pushing my phone into the pocket of my black pants.

I stand there for a moment, breathing hard, regretting my words already. She could take it out on Tristan. On Dad. She’s manipulated and controlled him for so long, he doesn’t knowhow to stand up to her either. I’m just learning, and it’s hard. I want to call her back, tell her I’m sorry, even though I’m not.

I feel like screaming. I dig my nails into my inner forearm, as hard as I can, hoping to draw blood, letting the pain calm my thoughts.

I started doing this after what happened with Remi. When my fingers reach the inner crease of my elbow, I pinch my skin instead, the irritated lines I dug into my arms.

It hurts.

It feels fucking good.

I wonder what Remi would think, if she could see me now. I imagine her biting my lip in the bathroom, the blood in my mouth. The accusations she hurled my way in my bedroom.

She wants to hurt me.Yeah, I wanna hurt me, too, baby.

When my arm feels like it’s on fire, I finally drop my hands, catching my breath.

I close my eyes, thinking about seeing Remi at that graveyard in Aben when I drove by in my truck, windows down, wondering what it’d be like to go sit with her.

She’s not there.

And if she is, I need to stay away from her.

But I can’t get that look out of my head. The one she gave me when I told her I recorded her in my bed.

I didn’t actually expect her to believe me, but I forgot she really does think I’m a fucking monster.

I open my eyes, biting the inside of my cheek. Then I head toward the trees anyway, rubbing my palm over my arm to soothe the sting.

CHAPTER

NINETEEN

REMI

I wrapmy arms around my shins and stare up at the night sky. The moon is full overhead, not a single cloud that I can see. A breeze rolls through the cemetery and I shiver, even in my hoodie. It’s a perfect night to hang out in a graveyard, and I wonder if my mom liked to do things like this when she was younger. Or if I only picked up that hobby because her tombstone was the one place I could see that she’d ever been alive at all. Silas hated talking about her after she passed, and he threw out most of her photos.

He didn’t want to see evidence of her addiction spiraling out of control.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The pot in my system I smoked out here with Van after all of our classes were done for the day helped calm my nerves. When he offered to walk me back to my dorm before he went off to meet Ryann, I felt safe telling him I’d be fine here alone.

And I do feel it.Fine.I nearly finished a book sitting amongst the tombstones; a horror romance with rich kids dying off one by one.

There are very few ways I love more to spend my time.

Besides, Sloane is in a night class, so no one is missing me, and no one is worrying about me and it feels good just… existing.

Until I hear footsteps.

My eyes fly open and my Chucks hit the grass, my hands in fists by my sides as I sit up straighter, every sense on alert. I cast my eyes around the cemetery, the single light pole glowing pale orange over the green grass and white grave markers.

Standing, I spin around, my pulse picking up speed even through the haze of marijuana.

Then I see him, a smile on his handsome face as he rakes a hand over his hair.

I run my tongue over my teeth. “What are you doing here?” I whisper, taking a step back from the bench between us. But my phone is in my bag—along with my book, my escape—and I dart a glance at it now. The soft haze of my high seems to leave me completely with his presence.

“Always so happy to see me,” he says quietly. His gray shirt is damp, sticking to his skin, outlining the hard muscles of his chest.

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