Page 26 of Did They Break You

If they say that one more time I might scream.“Seriously, Slo,” I yank my hand from her grip, not wanting to step foot inthat crowd. “Go find him. Squeeze your tits together,” I glance down at her low-cut cami, “and bring him back over here when you’re done jamming your tongue down his throat.”

Sloane rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t even know if he’s used his dick before,” she mutters.

“Exactly the kinda man you want,” I tease her, only I’m not sure I’m really teasing.

I think of Cortland and Maya. How I was so ignorant to think he’d actually been interested in me. We talked a lot in high school, occasionally had a class together. He’d ask me about what I was reading, nod to me in the halls, helped me pick my Thrifty’s haul up once in this very park. But where he seemed to relish in being surrounded by admirers, I found comfort in blending in.

And that night, in those woods, I’d wanted to do just that.

He made that impossible.

I blink those memories away, looking into my best friend’s eyes. “Go,” I tell her, meaning it. I want to catch my breath anyway. Being around so many people, whether I’m talking to them or not, it feels like a chore.

Sloane plucks her phone from her bra and waves it in front of my face. “Where’s yours?” she asks, arching a brow.

I slide my hand out of my hoodie pocket and show her I’m already clutching my phone tightly in my fingers.

Reluctantly, she nods. “All right,” she finally says, stepping away from me. “Look, Rems, I’ll be right?—”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” I cut her off, waving my hand. “The dorm is like five minutes from here. Worst case scenario, I just go home.”

She narrows her eyes, phone still in hand. “This is all a ploy isn’t it?” she accuses me, the corners of her beige lips turning up in a smile. “Get us out of your hair so you can walk home?”

Maybe.I shake my head, holding up three fingers. “Is not, scout’s honor,” I lie, considering doing just that when she leaves.

She sighs, as if she’s exasperated, then glances at the vodka bottle at my back, the sodas and mixers. “Just take it easy if you really are walking home, and text me before you do, okay?”

I nod once. “You got it, Mama.”

She steps closer, throwing her arms around me. “Smart ass,” she whispers in my ear before she pulls back. “I’ll be back soon.” She gives me one last lingering look before she turns and walks away, her calf-high boots clomping in the grass of the clearing as she sets off to hunt down Asa.

I exhale as I watch her go, relishing in the moment of solitude, even among all these people.

Then I stand, feeling a little lightheaded as I do from the alcohol.

A smile curves my lips with the feeling. It feels pretty good. And it helps me not think about them.

I reach for another cup from the sleeve of them, flip it over and grab the bottle of vodka by the neck. I only splash in a little, but then reconsider and add a tiny bit more.

Capping the bottle, I set it down, take a breath, and chug it all back, all on its own.

Gross, that’s nasty.

When I toss the cup in the trash, my face starts to feel pleasantly tingly, and I stare into the woods. Darkness, and silence beyond the next song. MGK playing in the clearing. “The Break Up.” And for one second, I’m back there again.

Alive. Whole. I’m running with Cortland. We’re both breathing hard, and it’s hot out. Humid. Warmer than it is now, even though it was a year ago. Just a little more.

I feel Storm watching us, behind me. He’s like a hunter.

But he’s safe, because I’m with Cort.

Then Cortland is pushing me against the tree, his mouth on my neck, and Storm is watching us, and I hear Chase and Brinklin coming closer and?—

I blink, stepping further into the woods, away from the crowd.

It’s not safe.A voice in my head.You shouldn’t have had so much to drink.

Silas made sure to tell me that was my fault. I was to blame.

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