And unbidden, I think of that night. The four of us surrounding Remi.
Wolves.
Then the next morning, her stumbling out of my bed. Panic.She panicked.
My hands start to tremble like they did in the weeks before I had to get on that plane to Texas, head toward the future Mom wanted for me, away from the rape allegations and sexual assault charges I’d narrowly escaped.
Away from Remi.
I clench my hands into fists, take a breath. Force it all away.
The tremors let up.
“What’s Storm do anyway?” Maya asks, glancing at her nails. “Haven’t seen him in town all this past year.”
“Since you’re so concerned with him, why don’t you suckhisdick tonight, huh?” I ask her.
She looks up with a smile, dropping her hand. “You feelin’ jealous, Cort?” she mocks me.
No.Storm isn’t interested in her because of the simple fact he isn’t interested in anyone.
“Nah. You can suck his cock if he’ll let you get close enough,” I tell Maya truthfully. She has no idea why I left her here alone yesterday while I walked with him to go book my appointment. The last thing I wanted was her by my side as I tried to adjust to being in a place that Remi orbits, too.
I lean down, grab my undershirt from the bed, shove it on, then snatch up the plaid long sleeve and put my arms through it.
Maya sighs in what’s supposed to be disappointment behind me. I’m not sure how the fuck we made it this past year, but then again, it’s not like I’ve been faithful to her. Sex is the only thing that clears my head of all the bad.
But with the photos Storm sent me last year of her sidling up next to EU’s basketball players after their championship game, I don’t think she’s been faithful to me, either.
We spent most of the summer apart, too, and I know she probably fucked her way through the beach town she stayed with her sister at.
I don’t really care.
Maintaining a relationship with her makes me look innocent. In the aftermath, she was the one who was there. For her own purposes, maybe, but still, she was there.
I hear a knock on my bedroom door and as I turn my head, the devil himself steps through. Storm doesn’t spare Maya a glance, his light blue eyes locked on mine.
“You ready?”
So much more in that question, and those unspoken words pass between us.
He was the first friend I made at West River, right after he punched me in the face for accidentally stealing his lighter. I’d found it on the sidewalk, snatched it up. Apparently, he’d just dropped it. I swung back, cracked his nose. After that, we wereclose. He marches to the beat of his own drum, which is more or less dark silence, but I like it. When I was looking for peace and quiet from my mom’s shit, he didn’t ask questions. Didn’t pry. He just let me sit in his car and get high, listening to Deftones with the windows down.
When he knew I was transferring here, he offered to move in, help me pay rent. He was living in a rundown apartment anyway. He doesn’t go to school. He’s a dealer.
I imagine my mom’s horror if she knew that. But she didn’t argue with me wanting him as a roommate. She’s in the business of pacifying me, as long as I do the same for her. A little like me and Maya that way.
I nod once in answer to Storm’s question, open up my closet door and step inside. I snatch a hat from the top shelf, put it backward on my head and close the door as I walk out. I glance in the mirror, running a hand over my black and gray plaid shirt.
I catch Maya’s eyes in the mirror and see her smiling at me, leaning back on the bed, her knees parted.
Storm is still in the doorway, and I shift my gaze to him to find him staring back at me.
What will we do with her, if she is there?
I drop my hand, a slow smile curving my lips.
I’ve got the whole year to figure that out.