Page 75 of Did They Break You

Cortland

Then tell me the truth.

I take a breath and try to convince myself again to put my phone away. But I don’t.I can’t.

Yes.

Cortland

Good. Your skin is too beautiful to carve up.

I burrow further under my blankets, like I can hide from the world in here.

Shut up.

Cortland

…

I laugh out loud, but don’t say anything because he’s still typing.

Cortland

I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.

I’m smiling so hard my face hurts, and this reminds me ofbefore.When he wasn’t so angry and so damn bad. When he was my safety.My shelter.

I’m going to pretend a lot of things.

The heaviness comes back with those words. All the things I don’t want to be true. All the ways he wrecked us.Ruined us.

I wonder if he’ll reply at all, and I grip my phone tighter, staring at my screen, waiting for him to type.

After a long moment, he does.

My heart beats too fast in my chest while I wait for his response.

Cortland

Me too, baby.

I don’t smile with that message, because we can pretend all we want, but it won’t take us back in time. Before I can respond, he’s already texted me again.

Cortland

I have a game Saturday. Come.

I shake my head at that. The last place on earth I want to be is a football stadium.

You’re delusional.

Cortland

You love football.

Not anymore.

That truth slices through my cocoon, like leaving cold air in its wake. But I keep staring at my phone, waiting for his thoughts on that. Wondering why I care what his thoughts are.

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