Page 66 of Did They Break You

CHAPTER

SEVENTEEN

REMI

“Lunch. Me, you. Now.”Van wraps his arm around my shoulder, whisking me off the steps of the English building.

I laugh, leaning my head against his arm. The third week of classes is to the midway point, and I’ve yet to tell Van or Sloane about Cortland.

About my habit.

How my nightmares have turned to dreams that make me feel sick.Because sometimes… I start to miss him.

I haven’t seen him again, since I walked out of his house. I know Tigers won the game this weekend, and I’m sure he had something to do with it, but I didn’t look up his stats. I didn’t want to know how well he played the day after he was inside of me.

My stomach twists into knots thinking about it, but I push the thought aside.

“Fine,” I concede to Van. “But Sloane is going to come too.” I already told her I’d be meeting Van in the cemetery and she’s blowing off her class to eat with me.

“I like threesomes,” Van says, and I elbow him with a laugh.

“How’s Ryann?” I ask.

He pulls me closer as we walk along the brick pathway to the cemetery. I play with the end of one of my braids, darting glances at all the orange and black surrounding us. Students in EU’s colors. I keep hoping I don’t see Cortland.

At least, that’s what I tell myself I’m hoping.

“Great,” Van says. “For your birthday, she’s coming to the cabins at Grim.”

I laugh at that, shaking my head. “That’s not formybirthday,” I tell him, even though my birthday falls on the annual fall retreat of EU students to Grim Mountain, which is in two weeks. Van is renting a big cabin. Last year, I went with Sloane and stuck to my room when the partying went down. But I liked walking along the trails. Going for hikes. Reading surrounding by changing leaves. This year, Sloane is going to the coast to visit her sister because her birthday is the day after mine. She pleaded with me to come with her so she didn’t feel guilty, butI’mthe one feeling guilty, keeping secrets from her.

It’s selfish, but I’m grateful that weekend I can have time to myself.

To think. To worry in peace.

“Semantics,” Van says, digging in his pocket no doubt for a lighter and a joint. One of these days, he just might get arrested on campus. But in the mountains, and especially here, at a school renowned for its art program, no one really seems to care. “At least I’m not ditching you like some other so-called best friend of yours I know.”

I open my mouth to say something smart back to Van, but just as we walk past the fountain across from the graveyard, I see him.

My heart races in my chest, and I stumble over my own two feet.

Van slows, glancing down at me, his brow furrowed. “You good?” he asks, joint between his lips. He unwinds his arm fromaround me to grab his lighter, flicking it as he inhales, lighting up the tip of the joint.

I glance past him, hoping Cortland hasn’t seen me.

But his eyes are on mine.

He’s in a black sweater, a white collared shirt underneath it. His style was always either Southern prep or athletic back in high school, too.

Some things haven’t changed.

But between us… everything changed.

Beside him, some guy I don’t know with an EU hoodie on is talking, but Cort doesn’t appear to be listening. His fingers are flexed around the strap of his backpack and he runs his tongue over his lip ring as he flicks his gaze from Van, getting high right here in the middle of the walkway, to me.

I swallow down the lump in my throat and turn to face Van. “I’m good,” I say, “I just thought I saw someone I knew.”

Van exhales smoke through his nose. “You know people?” he asks with the hint of a smile.

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