Page 61 of Did They Break You

I retch, dry heaving, my chest expanding, deflating, and when I feel the warm bile rising up the back of my throat, I scramble out of bed, out from underneath his arms.

Hisarms.

The air of the cold room fans over my chest and I realize I’m only in my underwear. I stumble back on the wooden floors, staring at Cortland as he rubs his fists over his eyes, yawning before he drops his hands.

Sits up slowly.

And as I cover my chest with my arms, his wary gaze meets mine, his lip ring sucked between his teeth as he stares at me.

Instead of vomiting all over his floor, I can’t seem to move.

I can barely speak. I just get one word out.“You.”

His response is instantaneous, like I screamed. He moves just like a skilled athlete.

He’s off the bed in a second, backing me against the wall beside a door, his hand planted above my head.

“Don’t panic,” he says, glancing at his bedroom door.

I shake my head, wanting to push him away but then I’d have to drop my arms from my bare chest, and I can’t do that.

What did we do?

The room seems to spin as I think about last night. Try to collect my memories.

I went with Sloane and Van to a frat house.

We had drinks. Got separated. I think Van was leaving because Ryann didn’t show; I never ended up meeting her.

I had more drinks. Outside, by a pool.

Everything hit mefast.

The night was spinning, and my face was numb, and I felt heavy. I was going to go home.

I stumbled toward the pool.

Someone’s hands were on me.

Then nothing.

Like the tape stops playing in my head.

I feel that sticky, tacky sensation against my back, and I suddenly freeze, Cortland still there, not touching me. I drop my gaze, see his black boxer briefs. The outline of his erection, as big as I remember it. And he’s in a white shirt.

My skin crawls, but I try to reason with myself. Maybe it’s notthat.

But I know what cum on my back feels like.

They didn’t all come inside of me.

In fact, only Cortland did that, and I had to recall all of it to the police, in every painful detail.

The feeling of Chase’s cum on my back.

How Cortland wiped it away with a washcloth, when they were all through. He was so quiet, so gentle when I was in his bathroom.

My heart races as I drag my gaze up, forcing myself to meet his.

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