Page 222 of Did They Break You

The guy freezes. Retracts his hand.

Turns out, too, some boys actually listen.

I drop the lighter, bring the beer up to my lips and tip it back as this guy starts asking me questions like, “What did I do wrong? Are you okay?”

I laugh and finish my beer, ignoring him.

“Do you wanna fuck us?” Lyza asks the spirit she’s contacting over there on the Ouija board, and I smile against the bottle as this guy switches tactics and starts kissing my neck, my freshly-dyed orange hair over one shoulder to give him better access.

“I wanna fuckyou,”he whispers against my throat.

I consider it, aware that Lyza and her boys could look up at any moment and see the wanna-be politician all over me, but it’s dark. Besides, I don’t think Lyza has the moral police on her shoulder.

I turn my head, and this guy’s mouth is instantly on mine.

He moans against my lips, and I open for him, his tongue flicking my tongue ring. He huffs a soft laugh over my mouth, and he tastes like marijuana and beer, but I like it.

He plays rugby, he’s got curly brown hair and a lot of tattoos and I’m not so sure how that’s going to work in the political science field, but it’s not really my problem. Besides, he knows how to use his tongue, even though he doesn’t bite me.

Again, that night flashes in my head.

Cortland’s eyes holding mine. The numbness sweeping over me, like it is now.

Despondency.Checking out.

I swallow, pulling away from this guy.

I hear another guy’s laugh, a girl’s moan—Lyza—and I try to get myself back in the mood, the music washing over me. The marijuana still trying to lift me higher. But all I can see behind my closed eyes is Cortland’s fingers covered in my blood.

The taste of him and me on my mouth.

Him leaving me on that porch.

My stomach churns again.

Abruptly, I stand, the guy jerking away from me as I lean against the wall, swaying a little.

“You all right?” he asks me.

Nope.I smile anyway and nod, taking a breath. With clumsy steps, I make my way through the room, past the Ouija board.

I just need the bathroom.

I just need a second alone.

“You good?” I hear Lyza call after me.

I hold up a peace sign and she laughs. “Let me know if you need me, Rems!” she calls over her shoulder as I open the door of the room and walk out, stumbling into the narrow hallway.

I’ve drank way too much. Smoked way too much.

My pulse is racing, and I can barely see, but I notice a door ajar ahead.

I push it open.

There’re tile floors.

A toilet.

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