Page 209 of Did They Break You

“Cort, come on, man, there are plenty of other girls you could?—”

“Don’t finish that fucking sentence,” I tell him without looking as the SUV creeps down the street beside me. I stare straight ahead, my house in view, woods to my left.

“You’re making us all look bad.”

“I already told you, I don’t give a fuck how you look, Chase.”

There’s a pause. Silence from his end. And I think he’s going to drive off. I think he’s going to let it go.

And then a crack sounds too close to my head, and I flinch, dropping down into a ball as the gunshot echoes in the night, ringing in my fucking ear, my heart nearly shooting right out of my chest.

“Let it go, Cortland,” I hear Greg yelling, his voice resounding over the tinny sound in my ear, my hands clamped over myhead, fear coiling in my gut. “Or next time, I won’t be aiming at you, and I won’t miss.”

CHAPTER

FIFTY-EIGHT

REMI

“I just don’t getit, Rems.” Van inhales from his joint, the tip glowing orange in the night. He tips his head back and exhales, a cloud of smoke visible from the lone lamppost at the edge of the cemetery.

I dig my hands into the pocket of my hoodie, itching to get back to Cortland, but dying for my best friend to understand. Since my other one doesn’t.

But Van doesn’t either, though.

He dips his chin, passing the joint to me.

I shake my head, waving him off.

I haven’t heard from Silas, but my credit card was declined when I walked to the coffee shop just off campus this morning while Cort loaded up some of my stuff. Silas has already cut me off, so I’m counting my pennies, and I applied for a few jobs this morning, even though Cortland has already said I don’t need to work. As if I’m going to count on him when things are so rocky between us.

And oddly enough, there’s a weight lifting from my chest, even as Van’s deep blue eyes are locked on mine in anger. He’s got his elbows on his knees, hands dangling between them as hewatches me. “He fucked you up. Why the hell would you go back to him?”

I swallow, drawing my knees into my chest on the black fuzzy blanket Van brought out. Between the two of my best friends, I always thought Van would understand more. He’s an artist, he’s high more than he’s not, and usually he’s pretty chill, so I just assumed he’d get it.

But he doesn’t.

I feel flustered, but good too. It’s a confession. And I just need him to at leasttryto understand. “That night, we were all drinking and?—”

“That’s not an excuse.”

I click my tongue ring over my teeth before I look up and meet his gaze. Before I can say anything though, he’s talking again.

“How long has this been going on?” He grinds the joint out in the grass, then clasps his hands together, still between his knees. “Have you been lying to me?”

I feel myself getting defensive, but I try to see his point of view, just like I saw Sloane’s. If someone had hurt him or her, in that way, and they went back to them, I’d be mad too. “Well, you’ve been kind of busy with Ryann and?—”

“Remi, don’t give me that bullshit,” he cuts me off, his words angry. “That’s a lame excuse and you?—”

“You weren’t there!” The words come out louder than I mean them to. I stand, my hands clenched into fists at my side as I stare down at him. “You weren’t there, and you don’t know how it happened, and?—”

“So you’re saying hedidn’trape you? Because if that’s what you’re saying, Remi, you should make that clear.” He stands too, towering over me. I smell the marijuana that clings to him, the scent familiar but in this moment, no longer comforting.

“It was… it was just all fucked up,” I tell him, dropping my gaze, my voice quieter. “I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t know that, even if I could, it would make it any better.” My fingers are shaky all over again, and I’m reminded of the weeks afterward. The comfort I found nowhere, except in Sloane, and even then, I felt like a burden.

I avoided Silas as often as possible, every look he shot my way one of disgust.

I was alone, and until I started here at Ely, I had no one to talk to. Even that came in the form of a therapist I couldn’t really express how I was feeling to very well. The one I’ve ditched completely.

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