Page 184 of Did They Break You

“That’s awesome,” I tell her anyway. “So, things are going well?”

She laughs, but it’s harsh, and the little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. She stops tapping the key on her keyboard and turns to face me, her green eyes narrowed. “You’d know if you ever went anywhere with us.” Her words are bitter. “I’ve invited you to meet him, like, a dozen times.”

Guess we’re going to hash this out now.

I swallow down my nerves, knowing I can’t tell her yet.I can’t tell anyone yet.“Sorry, Slo, I’ve been?—”

“Busy,” she butts in, and I see her hand on her keyboard clench into a fist. A muscle in her jaw ticks, and I think about her standing up to Maya when no one else did back in high school, in the locker room after practice. She called her a bitch to her face one day. Maya never changed her tune, but people respected Sloane more for it.

What did I ever do? Paint a pawprint on my face because Maya liked to mock me for it?

I run my tongue over my lips, but Sloane keeps talking before I can.

“It’s funny, though, Rems,” she says, her eyes on mine. She sits up straighter, her feet on the floor as she swivels in her purple chair to face me. “For all that work you’ve been doing…” Her eyes dart to my closed laptop, on my desk. “You never take your computer.” She arches a brow. “Using your old one? Oh, wait. That one’s here too. Maybe you’re writing all your assignments by hand?”

Despite the fact I’ve been lying to her, and hiding shit, I sit up with those words, swinging my legs off the bed. “Actually,” I tell her, “yeah. Some of them, I have.” It’s not complete bullshit. When Cortland and I come apart in his bed, Idowork on some of my assignments in notebooks while he watches football. I’ve come to learn that he doesn’t give a fuck about school.

Sloane snorts, shaking her head, then she stands, turning away from me. “Whatever, Remi.”

My pulse pounds in my ears. “You have something else to say?” I ask her, my voice low, but my words strong. “Say it.”

She just stands with her back to me for a moment, her hands parked on her hips, over her yoga pants. Then she spins around, pointing her finger in my direction. “You’re lying to me,” she says, her brows pulled together. “You’re lying to me about something, and…” She drops her hand, glancing at my hoodie sleeve. For a second, I think it’s pulled up again, but I glance down and see it isn’t. She’s just thinking about the time she saw everything.“You look like you got attacked by a cat.”“You’re hurting yourself, you’re blowing off your therapy appointments…”

My stomach twists into knots. That’s true. I’ve blown off Dr. Ravi a lot lately.

“What’s going on, Remi?” she asks, and that question is soft and low. Her body language even shifts, from angry to scared.

She’s scared for me.

I hate that.

I cross my arms over my chest, my feet at the ankles, dangling from my bed. “Nothing,” I lie to her. “I’m fine.”

This was my moment.

This was where I was supposed to tell her the truth.

And I didn’t.

She knows this was the moment, too. Looking down at the floor, she nods. “Okay,” she whispers, and my heart cracks. “Okay.”

Then she packs her stuff, grabs her keys, and tells me she’ll be back Monday.

As she walks out, locking the door behind her, I realize I never even told her I’m meeting Silas tomorrow night.

A knockon the door wakes me up.

I blink, thinking for a second I’m at home, but then my mind catches up to my body and I’m bolting upright, my heart racing as I realize even at home, my stepdad didn’t knock. He barged in, or he yelled. There was no waiting for me tolet him in.

And as I sit up, my gray sheets clutched to my chest, I realize I’m not at home anyway.

I’m in the dorm.

And I have just about zero friends on this hall aside from Sloane, unless Lyza counts, and considering our only conversation was in the bathroom when I tried to puke my guts out, I’m guessing itdoesn’tcount. That seems so long ago. Like I was a different person then.

I glance at the clock on my nightstand. It’s just before midnight.

I dive my hand under my pillow, closing it around my phone, yanking it off the charger plugged into the wall beside the bed.

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