Page 175 of Did They Break You

“Is it always like this?” I gasp out, swallowing down my other confession. The one he doesn’t deserve.

He seems to be holding his breath as he drags his hand down my stomach, gripping my hip, but keeping his hold on my throat, tipping my chin up higher.

“With Maya? Other girls? Are you always so rough?”

He just looks at me, and my chest squeezes, reading the truth in his eyes. I don’t know why it matters. I don’t know why I ever thought for a second his violence islove, but it still hurts, knowing I’m not the only one.

But he drops his hands, plants them on either side of my head instead. “It’s never like it is with you.”

The breath leaves my lungs.

I think he’s avoiding the question. I think he’s telling me what I want to hear. But even still, I hold onto it.

“Never?” I push.

He shakes his head, bowing his to mine.“Never.”

“How is it different?” I press. “What is it about me?”

He grabs my arm again, the one he pushed the sleeves up on. His fingers trail over my wounds. “You’re just like me.” He brings my arm to his lips, kissing over the crusted blood. “You’re fucked up.Just like me.And you know what did that?” He nudges his nose against mine. “Not that night, Remi. That was just the explosion. But the fire that started it all?” He angles his head, his lips over mine. “We were born this way, and beneath that shy bullshit there was a girl dying to beherself.”He pulls my arm over his bottom lip, and I suck in a breath. “I don’t want you to hurt, Remi.” He drops my arm, placing his palm back beside my head. “Not over me.Not over anyone.I don’t ever want to share you again. I don’t want to letanyonetouch you ever again. I was stupid. If I could go back, it would only be just us. We’d never leave that park. I’d blow off my own party to keep you so safe and I’d marry your ass the next day. I was drunk, and I wasfucking stupid.But let me make it better.Let me make it up to you.”

I open my mouth to tell him that’s impossible, but he presses a finger to my lips, his eyes locked on mine.

“Remi, baby… Let me at leasttry.”

CHAPTER

FORTY-SEVEN

CORTLAND

I only ever wanted you.

Those words echo in my head, over and over. Her hand is laced through mine as we drive into the nearest town. A place with two stoplights and exactly one shop. A coffee shop, thankfully.

“I never wanted them.”

I see her eyes in my head, the fire reflected in them. The truth in her words. They hurt last night.Those words fucking hurt.

And I can’t go back. I can’t redo that night no matter how much I wish I could. But I meant what I said.I want to make it up to her.

I pull into the packed dirt parking lot of the café, jog around the truck and open her door. She looks beautiful with sleepy, golden eyes, her faded orange hair in a messy bun, wisps of her long, straight strands hanging around her face.

She’s wearing my Ely University football hoodie, orange and black with a tiger paw on the front. Her leggings are the same ones she wore last night, but it’s not like she slept in them. There’s a hickey on her neck from where I fucked her in the tentafter the shit by the fire, and she must not have hated it, because we’re skipping class—and practice—again tonight.

She didn’t even mention lying to Sloane again.

And we didn’t talk about that night after everything by the fire.

I can’t help but wonder if we ever found a way to be together, if it’ll just always hang between us. I wonder if I could handle that, to have her.

Yes.

I help her down from the truck, closing her door, locking it and slipping the key in the pocket of my black sweats as I wrap my arm around her, threading my fingers through hers. “You hungry?” I ask her, kissing the top of her head.

It feels good out here, the mountains just beyond the small café. Small, but people are loitering on the porch, some rocking in white-painted rocking chairs. A couple of old men in suspenders, a few women with permed hair and painted nails.

Small town charm, it kind of reminds me of West Virginia out here.

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