Page 166 of Did They Break You

Brinklin

I haven’t seen him back on campus.

Cortland

Didn’t the two of you ride back together?

Brinklin

Drove separate, left the Jeep at Mom’s.

Storm

Maybe he’s dead.

I flex my jaw,squeezing the water bottle in my mouth and wiping my wrist over my brow, breathing hard from bleacher runs. Usually reserved for spring, one of my teammates had to mouth off at Coach for fuck-knows-what, so he wanted to punishus all for it. Bleachers it was. Game day is five days out, so I don’t think he really cares how exhausted we are.

But practice is almost over and the only thing I can think about is taking a cold bath. The ice bath in the convocation center isn’t really my thing but submerging myself in cold water became a habit back in high school. Tristan used to perch on a stool and play with his cars on the ledge of the tub while I sat in my swimming trunks and listened to him imagine the cars were people.Dolls.

I grit my teeth, thinking about what Mom would do if she knew where his imagination went, and I glance at my phone again.

I haven’t heard from Chase since we left the cabin in the morning after me and Storm walked back, which has been a couple of weeks. Even that goodbye was just a head nod as Brinklin got into his car. Brinklin said he didn’t talk much, and after Maya threatened me, finally got her shit and got out, I didn’t speak to Chase at all before I left to find Remi.

Thinking of her now, a smile pulls at my lips.

We’ve still been keeping everything hidden from nearly everyone. Meeting in the parking lot, my tinted windows up while we climb in the back. I’ve fucked her there, in my house before she runs out in a hurry, not wanting Sloane or her cousin to get suspicious. I’ve taken her to lunch off campus, wrapped her up in my arms in the shadowy corners of the library.

I can’t fucking stop. Smiling about her. Thinking about her. Usually both at once.

I can’t stay away from her, and I don’t know what to do about that.

Not knowing where Chase is unnerves me, but tomorrow morning, I’m taking her somewhere. I want more than stolen moments.

I want it all.

I met her for lunch again today, but she wanted to keep it under wraps, so we ate in my truck, parked at another dorm.

I’m not okay with that shit.

But, I get it.

Saturday night, I’m going to Dad’s, to talk about him moving. His first house fell through, but he’s got another one now. Another prospect of getting away from Mom, for good. I don’t know how I feel about that either. I came here because I thought Tristan would need me, but I’m not really doing him any good because I can’t get my head on straight. Absentmindedly, my fingers drift to my inner forearm, scratching at my skin.

I wince as I realize what I’m doing, my heart picking up speed after it’d just slowed down from practice.

I drop my hand from my arm and stare down at my phone. Thinking about Remi fucking me that first time in my truck, choking Storm in our house, I have to bite back a smile. She was so fucking hot and so fucking mine. And the way she asked for my permission before Storm... My dick gets hard and I adjust myself through my pants, biting my lip.

I glance down at the time. Practice is technically over, and I’m wondering why the fuck I’d wait for morning to get Remi out of here.

I’m not waiting.

I stand, feeling a little dizzy from the heat and the drill as I do, but I need her. Being with her quiets all the bullshit, and even when we fight, it’s justheron my mind. Nothing else. And maybe it helps with the guilt, too, but so what? I like her. I like being around her.I want her.

I wave two fingers up from the sidelines, see Coach across the field laying into Derrek for showing up high to practice. Coach gestures with his clipboard toward me, dismissing me.

After I’m showered and dressed, striding out of the locker room with my gym bag over my shoulders, I pull out my phone.

Baby. I miss you.

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