Page 146 of Did They Break You

FORTY

REMI

There area few people in line at the ticket booth at Lilith Caves, but it’s relatively quiet. Yet his words from the truck, the way he pressed for my truths, the ones he gave me… it all echoes in my head.

His brother. His mom. His thoughts about Chase.

Insinuating again that he hurt himself, too.

And when he links his arm through my own, despite the confusion in my mind, I feel a sense of giddiness that’s unmatched.

“Stop doing this. Let me be it for you.”

When I fall, I know it’s going to hurt.

But for now… I can let him be it.

We disappear into the darkness, the stagnant air surrounding us as we walk along the pathway lined with a short, wooden fence. Lanterns light the way, hanging lights casting an orange glow on the stalactites and stalagmites.

He keeps me close, even when I run over to the fence to check out the limestone walls, listening to water dripping within the quiet of the cave. He comes with me, saying little. I keep my phone in the breast pocket of his borrowed shirt, even thougheverything is beautiful and picture perfect. The active limestone formations, the bulging walls of the cavern, ducking beneath low hanging rocks. At one point, Cort has to let go of me and duck. I feel his hands on my ass as I crouch down and I laugh, escaping onto the other side.

He easily catches up to me, pulling me back to him, his arm wrapped around my shoulder, his West River High black and teal hoodie still fitting him perfectly. I think he grew so fast, he got it all out of his system in high school.

“Having fun, pretty baby?” he asks me as we see the mouth of the cave exit looming ahead, seeming to glow bright in the darkness.

I stop walking, and he does too as I twist under his arm to look at him.

His hands come to my hips, heavy and hot even through my shirt.

“Yeah,” I admit, my breath hitching. We’re alone now, and I almost don’t want to go into the light. I texted Van that I was going for a drive in a golf cart, this place just one exit up on the highway, and I’m not ready to go back.

I don’t want people to see this. Whateverthisis.

He glides his hands up my side, my shirt pulling with the movement.

My heart races as I stare up at him in the dim light, and he pulls me closer. My palms splay against his hoodie, my fingers rubbing over the wolf printed on the thick material.

He bends his head, his brow to mine, our noses lined up. He seems to like this position with me. Touching every inch of my face that he can with his own.

And his touch is firm, but gentle.

Much like it was that night.

A chill slides down my spine, but it’s not exactly unwanted.

“I like this. With you,” he says softly, yanking me closer, and us out of the main path of the cave, his back against the rocky wall. If people want to come through, he seems to be saying, they can, but he’s not letting go.

“Yeah?” I ask, my fingers still splayed on his shirt, still moving. My heart still racing.

Wrong.My head is telling me this is wrong, but my heart, in this moment, is winning.

It’s just a moment, I tell my head. That part of me trying to protect myself from the inevitable crash and burn that will come from giving into these simple pleasures.It’s just a moment.

“Yeah,” he says, and his lips brush against mine.

I grip his shirt tightly in my fist.

“We remember that night so differently,” he continues, and my heart sinks.Not this. Anything butthis. “But even still, I want you to know, baby, I’d give anything to go back and do it all over again.”

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