Page 108 of Did They Break You

I press my palms to the wall, feeling clammy but full of need.

So much fucking need.

He yanks down my sweats, my underwear, then he’s on his knees.

I gasp, nervous, wanting to hide as I quickly cross my legs, almost opening my eyes. Almost breaking the spell.

“No, no, no.No.”I say it over and over, and even I can hear the thread of insecurity laced in my tone. This is too much. Too intimate.

“Remi,” he says, his voice full of disapproval as my hands find his hair, even though I know I shouldn’t run my fingersthrough it. I shouldn’t touch him at all.I shouldn’t do this.“Uncross your legs.”

I can’t. My knees are shaking, threatening to buckle. Guys have tried to go this far before in the past year, but I could never let them in. That familiar panic steals through me and I think I’m going to faint.

His hand is between my thighs, one on my hip, but he can’t go much further even though he’s trying. I know, though, he isn’t trying as hard as he could. If he wanted, he could force me again.

“Pretty baby,” he whispers those words against my skin, his hot breath causing my spine to straighten, my skin to tingle. His next words are closer to my center, skating over my thigh. “Let me.”

I shake my head, biting my lip, eyes still closed. “We can’t do this, Cortland. We can’t?—”

“I can do whatever I fucking want.”He licks up my thigh, just to the crease as he tries to pry my legs apart.

My chest tightens with those words.

I want to give in.

I want to break free.

I want to benormal for once.

The muscles in my legs relax, and as soon as they do, his hands are on my thighs, pulling them apart. Then he runs his middle finger down my slit, parting my wet lips, and it’s like a release all on its own. I’m panting, moaning with the feel of him toying with me, but it sounds like a whimper.

Heat flashes through me, and its desire and discomfort, and my knees are still trembling as he curls his fingers, poised at my entrance.

“You want to pretend you don’t want this again?” he asks me quietly, his breaththere,against my pussy. The feeling startles me, and I almost open my eyes again.

Almost.

But if I do, this is over.

The bubble will pop.

Reality will explode around me.

I keep my eyes closed.

“You want to pretend I’m another guy?” He pushes two fingers into me, and I gasp, clenching around him. He laughs, a wicked sound, and his mouth comes to my clit, his tongue lapping against it as he fingers me before he speaks, the words on my sensitive skin. “Another guy wouldn’t be so fucking nice, not after what you put me through, baby.” His fingers tighten on my thigh and panic surges through me.

I think about that night.

Hownot niceChase was.

My stomach churns, but I force it away. Force myself to feel him fingering me, feel his tongue teasing me, running up my slit before he sucks my clit in his mouth.

It’s a feeling I’ve never felt. A sensation I want to drown in.

I whimper, and he pulls back.

“You’re so damn wet for a girl who doesn’t like to be violated.” His teeth scrape against my thigh, his words and his tone turning angry. “For someone who wants to cover every fucking inch of your beautiful body, I never imagined you could be so damn desperate, Rems.” Then he’s quiet, like he’s holding his breath, and I hold mine too, hearing the slick sounds of his fingers plunging into and out of me.

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