Page 103 of Did They Break You

I swallow, hearing my pulse pounding in my head, and I reach for my phone, at the edge of the desk. My fingers brush along my binder, a notebook, a highlighter, but I can’t find my phone.

I can’t find my fucking phone.

Panic tears through me, fear like ice spreading down my limbs. I stand, reaching my arms out further over the table, a scream bubbling its way up my throat.

My book falls to the floor, pens roll off and hit the carpet with soft thuds. I straighten, breathing in and out evenly through my nose, deciding to fuck the phone. I tuck my hair behind my ears, steadying myself. I start to walk around the desk, my fingertips grazing the top of it, so I don’t run into it.

Simple, I tell myself.I’ll just walk to the door.

I edge around the table, my mouth dry, still blinking in the darkness, trying to make out anything at all, but it’s okay. The room is small. I’ll be at the door in ten seconds, and when I open it, I’ll either know the power went out or I’ll flip the light switch back on and?—

A hand clamps over my mouth.

Fight or flight is bullshit.Because I don’t do either in this moment.

Ifreeze.

Just like I did that night.

My chest is rising and falling rapidly, but I don’t feel like I’m getting any air, and my hands are in fists down by my sides. A hard body is against my back, and time seems to stand still.

I’m paralyzed for the second time in my life, when it really counts.

Then a low laugh sounds against my ear, deep and husky, and I feel Cortland’s breath on my neck. “You should pay more attention, Remi, baby,” he whispers in the dark, his other hand coming to the hem of my hoodie, his fingers slipping beneath it, edging against the waistband of my sweats.

I catch my breath, relaxing against his touch.

And I’m annoyed with myself that I am. That he feelssafe.

He seems to notice the tension leave my body, my knees nearly giving out, because he stops playing with the waistband of my sweats. He bands his arm around my chest, dropping his hand from my mouth and pulling me close to him, hugging me from behind.

A strangely warm gesture.

“What are you doing?” I ask him quietly. I haven’t seen him since the bar. We haven’t spoken in nearly a week.

But did I really think he’d leave me alone?

Did Iwanthim to?

My arms are pinned by my side by his, but I don’t care as I let my pulse settle.

At least… until I become aware of his cock growing hard behind me.

Fuck. Me.

“What if it wasn’t me that cornered you here, in the dark?” he whispers, his mouth still by my ear. “What if I was someone else? Someone worse?”

I roll my eyes. “Maybe they’d actually kill me and put me out of my misery.”

He doesn’t laugh like I thought he might, or even come back with a shitty comment. He just releases me, then he’s pushing me against the wall, his hand on my chest.

And with that movement, in the dark, I blink, and I’m not here in the library anymore.

Those memories in the basement rise up.

I’m backthere.I feel him pushing into me. Telling me how good I felt, his hand around my throat as he trailed kisses over my chest. His teeth against my breasts, his friends laughing as he touched me. Storm watching me from that tree.

The room seems to spin, even in the darkness. I feel as if everything is closing in on me. Like there’s no more air in the room.

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