Page 12 of Sins and Salvation

"It always was."

We stare at each other, the truth sucking the air out of the room. I'm still what my father tried to make me—a weapon. I just aim myself at willing targets now.

"I'm going out," I tell her. "Lock the doors behind me. The alarm code is 5729. Don't open for anyone, not even me. I can, and will let myself back in."

"Where are you going?"

"To see my brother. Cormac needs to know what's happening."

She looks toward the stairs where Conor disappeared. "You can't tell your family about him. Don’t you fucking dare, Declan."

"I have to."

"No! The Donovan’s will corrupt him, take him from me. I won't let that happen. I will be the one killing people if they try take him."

I move closer, unable to resist touching her. I brush my fingers against her cheek. "He is a Donovan. But I swear to you, I'll protect him. I am not like them, I left so I didn't have to be."

She pulls away from my touch. "Then why come back at all?"

"You know why."

"Your father dying isn't a reason, you hated him. I bet you danced on his grave, or spit on it." She’s not wrong, his death was a relief. That stoke was too good of a way for him to go— I wish he’d suffered.

I shrug. "Maybe I felt something else pulling me home."

"Home." She laughs bitterly. "Dublin was never your home. Not really. You couldn't wait to get away."

"That's not true. I didn't want to leave, I left to protect you. Cormac sent me away to protect me, he knew what would happen if I stayed."

"Protect me?" Her voice rises. "You abandoned me!"

"My father was going to kill me if I didn't leave!" The words burst out before I can stop them. "He was going to kill me, and you. So, I planned to kill him, and Cormac stopped me, he sent me away. I was lucky, he's killed siblings for less." Once upon a time there were seven of us, we’re down to four.

She steps back, shock on her face. "What?"

I run a hand through my hair. "He found out about us. Said I was disgracing the family by mixing with someone like you—he called you trash, I lost my mind. He said I had to end it, or he would. His way. So, I decided to end him my way?—"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't get a chance, I had to leave."

"So, you just disappeared? Left me to think you were dead, or that you ran off because you didn't want me anymore. You fucking broke my heart Declan, wrecked my entire life too."

"It was the only way I knew to save you."

Her eyes fill with tears. "And in doing so, you ruined me."

I want to touch her again, to pull her into my arms and erase the years between us. But I know she won't let me.

"I'm sorry," I say. "For everything. But I'm here now, and I'm not leaving again."

She wipes away a tear. "You can't just waltz back into our lives, Declan."

"I couldn't waltz if I tried, but I am in your life. You can't keep him from me."

"We're not yours."

"You've always been mine. And that boy upstairs—he's mine too. Whether you like it or not."

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