Page 140 of Seeing Grayscale

My fingers are so cold that the touch screen takes a few tries to register that I’m touching it. I open my email and my dry eyes widen into saucers. Tremors shoot down my arms, vibrating the device in my palm. I could’ve sworn my notifications were on, but apparently they weren’t. The email is from a warehouse where I applied to work.

They want me to come in for an interview…tomorrow.

I suck in a harsh breath, then another.

Surely I don’t have anymore fucking tears left in my ducts, but a few drops manage to well. I wipe them away quickly and power off my phone. I can’t show up to a job interview likethis.

I don’t even havesocks on.

The urge to scream again is strong. I’m so fucking angry at myself—at everything—that I shoot off the bench and storm over to the gas station on the opposite corner. It faces the diner. Fuck that place.

This early in the morning, I doubt anyone will even be awake enough to stop me. I don’tdoshit like this, but I’m over caring. I’m done trying. What’s the point anyway? No matter what you do or how hard you try, there will always be something or someone shoving your face down into the dirt.

I creep inside the convenience store and spot the older man behind the register. He’s asleep.

The damn door bell didn’t even startle him.

I keep my steps light and quick, hurrying to the back of the store to where they keep the liquor. Grabbing the first bottle I see, I stuff it into the waistband of my sweats before pulling my jacket over the bulge. When I look back at the sleeping attendant, I steal a few bags of chips on my way out. Pockets overflowing, I slip back out and hurry to get away.

Across the street, a few cars pull into the diner, and I spot a car I recognize. Narrowing my eyes into slits, I pull the bottle of…wineout of my pants and crack open the top. I take a swig andwatch the car park. When the short, blonde gets out, pushing up his thin glasses and yawning, I take a big gulp and walk in the opposite direction.

Of course, he’d send his assistant. Hunter is too cowardly to come after me.

Maybe he really doesn’t give a fuck.

I chug the wine and walk off the sidewalk into the neighboring trees. The alcohol is already hitting my system, clouding my thoughts, and I am thankful for it. I don’t want to feel anything or wonder how I’ll stay warm tonight. And the last thing I need is to think about who Hunter will get to replace me.

I know I deserve better, but fuck…thishurts.

Before I know it, I’m sitting in the snow with an empty bottle. I close my eyes, too numb and warm to care that my pants are soaked. The security cameras at that gas station might’ve caught me stealing, but I don’t care about that either. What’s one more mark on my record? Maybe I won’t have to worry about anything if I'm in jail again.

I’ve already been assaulted, so I’ll be prepared for that, too.

A horrible, bitter laugh slips free, and before I know it, I’m hysterical.

“I was going to say something sarcastic, but this is just plain heartbreaking.”

My eyes slowly open at the sound of the voice, and I growl when I see Alex standing over me. “Fuck off.”

“Frostbite is a real thing, you know. Your fingers look pale.”

I glare at him. The longer I do, the more my stomach twists. The last time I saw Alex, I was so worried about Hunter. I trusted this stranger just to make sure I got to him.

Where is that sentiment from Hunter?

Heshould be standing there, not his assistant.

Something like a whimper squeaks past my lips, and I fold my arms tightly around my middle.

“Go away, Alex. I’m fine.”

The man doesn’t go away. Instead, he crouches, mumbling something about freezing his nuts off, and places a delicate hand on my knee. “Between you and me, I’m proud that you left his ass.”

“Huh?”

“Hunter needs to figure out his shit. And he had no right dragging you in the middle of it, honey. Trust me on this, I warned him.”

“Yeah, well, a little too late for that now.” I jerk my knee so he’ll stop touching me.

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