Page 32 of Seeing Grayscale

Grabbing the remote so I stop thinking about it, I quickly find something to watch, fold my arms, and frown. It won’t go away, either.

Why the hell do I care?

Why can’t I stop thinking about it? The most logical explanation would be that if he has someone important in his life, then I’m not at all.

Because I’mnot.

Holy hell, Gray. Get it through your thick head! Temporary. This is temporary.

It’s all fucking—

“I love this movie,” Hunter says, and I flinch. It’s subtle, and I don’t think he caught it.

Gotta stop dropping my guard like this.It’s happening more and more, and the guy is eerily silent on his feet.

He rounds the couch wearing black pajama pants and a slightly oversized dark green shirt. There’s a pine tree on it.

His hair is combed back, and his face looks extra glossy like he has lotion on.

“Huh?” I blurt, noticing that his outfit completely hides his body while accentuating his arms, which have far too many veins. They're distracting…

“The movie,” he points before sitting down on the other side of the couch.

I glance at the TV, and my brain finally catches up. “Oh. Yeah. I’ve never seen it.”

I didn’t even pay attention to what it was called, either.

“Rewind it to the beginning,” he demands, reaching across to snatch the remote from my thigh.

My entire body stiffens, the galloping in my chest ramps up, and I can hardly breathe. While he resets the movie to the beginning, I glance at his profile. His nose is still straight from this angle, and his jaw is more defined. The right side of his lips kicks up in a smile right before they part, and he faces me.

“You picked the first one, too. So you won’t be lost when everything starts happening.” There’s genuine excitement in his voice—like he hasn’t gotten to share one of his favorites with anyone in person.

And to be fair, he’d only askedmemy favorites. I ran out after a while because most of the answers I gave him were from when I was a kid.

“The Davinci Code?”

“Yeah, the second one is called Angels and Demons. I’ve always wanted to read the series, but I don’t have the time.”

“How come?”

He frowns like it’s obvious, and maybe it is; I just want him to keep talking and looking at me like that. “I work a lot. I’m usually in the office for ten hours or more, depending on what’s needed. I guess a lot of it is to avoid going home. Half the time, I could get away with leaving earlier, but I just don’t. And when I’m there, I don’t have the focus for anything other than work. I go into tunnel vision.” He shrugs and turns up the volume. When he nudges me ever so slightly—a whisper of a touch—I swallow hard.

“Pay attention,” he orders, but it’s playful, easy.

I grab the blanket, wiggle down as far as I’m comfortable with my pillow tower under my leg, and watch his favorite movie.

SIXTEEN

DependenceissomethingI’mnot used to, yet I know I’ve intentionally put myself in a position where it could become a permanent fixture in my life—if I let it.

Gray fell asleep about halfway through the movie, and while I’m tired, I can’t find it in me to leave him and retire to the upstairs bedroom.

No one has everneededme like he does.

It’s a heady feeling.

I know he’s been adamant from the get-go that he will only accept so much, and while I respect it to an extent, I can’t talk myself out of trying to make him see reason.

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