Page 158 of Seeing Grayscale

“You can’t promise that, and I wouldn’t believe you even if you did.”

This obviously upsets him, but he blows out a breath through his nose and nods. “For how long? How long will you stay with them?”

I shrug. “However long I need to.”

“Gray, I’m serious about this. Us. If you need time, I’ll give you that, but I want to be with you,livewith you. Is that not something you want?”

“I need to be independent,” I say a bit harsher than intended. “I need to do this. I’m not cut out to be like…some pampered house-partner. This job is just the first step. If I go with you now, I’ll rely on you for everything. Abel and I were talking this morning, and he was showing me those pamphlets. There are a lot of resources I didn’t know I could use. Places and people who can give me the tools I need to be better.”

“Like the shelter?”

“No,” I laugh. “Therapists to help with…my bullshit. Social workers to help with job stuff and transportation. I could get free driving classes through their programs. I could—”

“I get it,” he says gently. “Can I do anything to help?”

I think about it, searching his face. His eyes are soft and focused, waiting patiently for anything he can do. “I want you to fly.”

“Fly…”

Sliding my hands up his chest to either side of his neck, I kiss him. “Use your pilot’s license. Do the things you always wanted to but never could. That’s how you can help. Don’t let yourself stay stagnant. If I’m going to grow, so are you.”

He frowns. “That sounds like we’d be seeing a whole lot less of each other, Gray.”

I hadn’t thought of it that way, but he’s right. We would be busy with everything else. “It’s what I want.”

The look on his face tells me he wants to argue. Maybe this is the selfishness he was going on about before. But something changes in his expression, a silent understanding washes over him. “Will you be with me, still?”

“In what way?” I know what he’s asking, but I want to hear him say it. Because as far as I’m concerned, he’s been mine even without an official label.

“With me. Mine. My…partner, boyfriend, whatever name you want. Exclusive. Committed. No one else.”

“Do you really need to ask that?”

“Yes, I do, because I’m in love with you, and that’s never happened before.”

Stroking my thumbs over his cheeks, I press another kiss to his lips. I can’t stop fucking kissing them. “You’re mine, Hunter. No matter what we’re doing or where we are, you’re mine. If it wasn’t clear as day how much I love you before, it better be now.”

He crushes me to him, squeezing me hard and nuzzling the side of my head. “Okay, sweetheart. Okay.”

SIXTY

TWO DAYS LATER...

Grayrefusedtocomehome with me after we made up, so I waited.

Since Xavier and Grant made their shady deal with me, things at OAT have been business as usual. Alex was thrilled. I’ve been using the last few days to remove my mom’s things from mydad’s house, with the help of law enforcement. I haven’t spoken to him since he called me a faggot and I don’t plan on it.

Come Monday, all his dirt will be aired out.

But it’s my birthday.

Thirty years old, and for the first time in my life, I don’t know what I’m doing. I know what I’ve been asked to do, and I will look into using my license, but right now, I want Gray.

I want him with me.

It feels wrong to ask him to go to a hotel after everything, but I don’t think he’ll want to come to my house either. And for what I’m craving, I doubt my physician’s house is the best place for it.

Can I pick you up after work?

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