Page 48 of Sadist

“Say something,” I blurted.

“I’m thinking,” she replied.

“Think aloud.” I needed to know what was going through her head behind that cold mask.

“There is a funeral being held for you next weekend,” she said finally. “And I am trying to decide if he legitimately thinks youperished in that fire. Surely DNA must have proven otherwise, but I’m not sure how badly the body they recovered was burned.

It wasn’t what I was expecting her to say, and I blinked a few times. “Badly,” I said after a long moment. “I was watching the live reports, and I got hold of the autopsy. There were little more than bone fragments remaining. It was a witness testimony that tipped the scales—one of the homeless in the area reported hearing me confirm my identity just before the explosion. The silence since has confirmed it.”

“Okay.” Theo nodded slowly, and I couldn’t help myself. I needed to touch her. Ineededto know if she would pull away from me after hearing my darkest secret. I tentatively ran my fingers over her hand where it rested on my knee, her skin hot against my cold fingers.

“You’re frozen.” She took my hand in hers, and my stomach fluttered as she brought it to her lips and blew on them. “It’s not cold in here, Sweets. Do you feel okay?”

I nodded, a tornado of emotions hitting me at once. She wasn’t recoiling from me, but she was letting me leave.

I was going to losethis.

She was going to let me go, and I was never going to see her again. I leaned in, pausing as I got closer, searching for the disgust I still expected to see. But her brow only quirked a little.

“Can I…” I trailed off, feeling ridiculous. I was chasing the need for reassurance that I shouldn’t even want, desperate to be sure that her spark of desire for me was still there. Want. Need. Lust. Fuck, I would take anything. She had told me that she intended to let me walk away from her, then cradled my hand like it was precious. She had fucked me like she owned me, then left me in her bed to sleep elsewhere like she didn’t want to be near me. She was a walking dichotomy, and I was at her mercy.

“Can you what, Sweets?” There was a low purr in her voice that heated my blood, and she drew her lips along my hand, stillblowing warm air across my skin before taking the tip of my finger between her teeth and nipping at it.

Why?I tried to read her and failed through the maelstrom of emotions clashing around my head. Did she know what I wanted and was just playing into it? Anxiety clawed at my insides as she kissed the next finger, then nipped at it too. Was she stalling to think? Trying to hide her disgust through distraction?

Fuck it.

Closing the distance, I crashed my lips to hers, slipping my hand behind her neck and pulling her against me. I had taken her by surprise—I could feel it in the moment of stillness under my hands as I ran my fingers up and into her hair, tugging at it.

Show me you want me.The words were a plea echoing through my mind as, for a moment, I thought she would pull away.

And then her hands gripped my waist, and I felt the moment she took control back, kissing me savagely. A wave of relief hit me, and my throat caught.

It wasn’t enough, though.

She was going to let me walk out that fucking door and didn’t even care that she would never see me again. She was making me feel all of this conflictingbullshit,and she didn’t even care!

I bit her lip.

Hard.

Her hand gripped my throat, and she reared back, fingers brushing over where I had sunk my teeth. They came away stained crimson, and I glared at her as I pushed against the grip on my neck.

Her thumb pressed against the pulse flaring at my neck.

“Naughty girl,” she crooned softly. “You made me bleed.”

“Fair’s fair,” I bit out, too many emotions hitting me at once after the blessed numbness. It always happened this way. Panic. Emptiness. And then it would come rushing back, and eithersend me into the dark to repeat the cycle or leave me emotionally frayed.

That god-damned brow arched higher, and her hand squeezed a little tighter.

“No, Sweets. There is nothing fair about this situation.”

“No?” I choked out past her grip.

“No,” she echoed. She looked at me for a long moment, her eyes searching my face. “What do you need right now?”

I pressed my lips together, refusing to let my reply slip free.

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