Page 177 of Auctioned

“Yes, I mean it. Yes. Yes. Absolutely.” James paces the length of his kitchen. He’s changed into a white button-down shirt and dark gray slacks after we showered together. His fresh cut is bandaged. “No one leaves the quarters, no matter what you hear outside.”

His eyes are on me until he turns around and crosses over to the living room. Then he stares out the window, reconsidering what he’s just said.

“Order everyone except the doctor to take sleeping pills and wear earplugs for the night.”

I wouldn’t say he’s nervous. Excited isn’t the word, either.

He’s a predator anticipating his prey. His spine is straight. Feet planted firmly on the floor in a confident stance, he listens to Clara on the other line.

Watching him is nothing short of fascinating. My body heats up as I take him in. My heart flutters for him.

I’m desperate for him. I wish I could tear off this maxi, long-sleeved, white knit dress he chose for me. I want him to fuck me senseless. His babies in my womb, I want that too.

Instead, I’m standing here, shifting from one foot to the other on my white ballet flats.

What is he even doing here?

What am I?

That’s easy. I love him. I want him to have the most perfect life.

Perfectwould be James living his life peacefully. Being there to watch his son grow old. Taking the time to teach Topher how to treat a woman right. Explaining to him until he gets it into his thick skull that women are more than wombs or toys to play with.

James could have a grandson or daughter from Topher—many of them.

He wouldn’t have been in this mess if it weren’t for me.

Because there’s no doubt in my mind that James would annihilate Topher.

Does he really want it, though?

Maybe not now.

But he might regret it years down the road.

When it’s too late.

I love James. I have to let him go.

The rain stopped falling about an hour ago. The moon hangs high in the clear skies, with no clouds to hide it.

James continues his conversation. “Clara, the chef shouldn’t worry about his job. I’m not going to fire him anytime soon.”

I almost laugh. Except my heart isn’t in it.

My heart is hoping for a better life for James.

I tread over toward the front door. He doesn’t notice me as I tiptoe behind him. The floors don’t creak.

Soon, I’m out of his earshot, darting through the dark, silent hallways.

I’m practically floating, despite the lead lining the pit of my stomach.

It has to be done.

This is a selfless act, reaching for the keys he left out here when he got home. Sure, I’m terrified of having my soul ripped in half when he falls out of love with me.

It hurts worse to imagine our future together.

---