Page 19 of Read Between The Lines

The last comment was accompanied by a movement of his right hand. For a brief moment, I thought Leo was going to reach out and trace the line of the aforementioned furrow. The skin of my forehead prickled, already anticipating his touch.

Leo started laughing.

I tried to force my face into a neutral expression, not wanting to show him he’d got to me, but it only resulted in his smile growing broader still. The man was completely infuriating.

‘Is it any wonder that I’m pissed off? I’m a private person. It’s disappointing to discover I’ve apparently been telegraphing my innermost thoughts to all and sundry this whole time,’ I said. What else had he been able to glean from me? I didn’t want to think too hard about that.

His expression softened. ‘You and me both. Look, I wouldn’t worry too much. Most people are so wrapped up in themselves that they don’t see what’s right in front of them. And if they do, most of them don’t really care.’

‘That’s a pretty depressing perspective.’

‘Depressing, or realistic? There’s a reason self-defence instructors encourage people to cry “fire” rather than “help” when they’re in need of assistance. Strangers are more likely to pay attention and provide aid if they think they’re at risk too. Otherwise, they’ll probably feign ignorance and go on their merry way.’

I shook my head in disbelief. ‘That’s really sad. I refuse to accept most people’s default state is selfishness. And I’m sorry that that’s been your experience. Was that why you left the police?’ I regretted the question as soon as I’d asked it. It was too soon in our business relationship for that kind of confidence sharing. The shutters came down immediately, all remnants of humour evaporating in a second. For a moment, I thought Leo might be about to get up and leave.

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. Put it down to regularly playing the role of the library’s resident agony aunt. I’ve got used to people pouring out their problems to me.’

‘I’m certainly not in need of an agony aunt,’ he said in a way which made me even more convinced that he was. I kept quiet, wondering what he might say.

‘What was it you wanted?’ he asked eventually, making it clear that the subject was closed.

Fair enough, if that’s how he chose to play it, I wouldn’t pry where I wasn’t invited. Even if he’d had no qualms about doing the opposite to me.

‘I’d like you to join SO Ox.’ I came straight out with it. There was no point in trying evasion when Leo was around. At least my suggestion put a smile back on his face, even if it was a cynical one.

‘And why would I want to do that? From what you’ve described, it sounds like a hotbed of crookery and chancers.’

‘I don’t think everyone on there is dodgy. At least, I really hope they’re not. Otherwise, that’s fifteen quid a month down the drain.’

‘Fifteen quid a month?’ he repeated. ‘Are all these potential suitors dipped in gold leaf or something? No wonder a scammer decided it would provide him with rich pickings. You do realise there are dozens of apps out there which you can get for free? Or heck, you could do it the old-fashioned way by meeting “IRL”, as I believe they call it nowadays.’

‘Stop pretending to be an old fuddy duddy. I am well aware that there are theoretically other options. But I’m not very good at the whole picking up flirtation signals in bars thing,’ I said, embarrassed to admit it. Not that being flirted with in bars was a regular occurrence. Somehow, I didn’t think clumsy flirting was a problem Leo was familiar with. ‘I decided to choose a paid-for app because why shouldn’t I make an investment in my future happiness?’ I continued defensively. ‘Besides, I figured the fee would put off the fuckboys and increase the chances that the members would be properly committed to finding a real relationship. Which is what I’m after. Call me a deluded romantic, but I don’t mind paying for peace of mind and a better chance at meeting The One.’

‘Youarea deluded romantic. And I can’t believe you’re still defending the app, despite the presence of the supremely dodgy Brian James on it, and its staff’s unwillingness to help you when you reported him.’ He shook his head. ‘Can you truthfully say it’s working out well for you? Please spare me the clichés about one rotten apple and all that.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘I’m not going to argue about it with you. We’ve established that I’m an idiot. Let’s move on and get back to the point.’

‘You’re far from an idiot,’ he said. ‘Naïve, definitely. Idealistic, sure. And last time I checked, it wasn’t a crime to be either of those things, although it certainly can make life difficult for a person. But an idiot? Definitely not.’

For a man who claimed to prize peace and quiet in the library environment, he was being remarkably loud as he delivered his assessment of my character. I noticed a couple of would-be browsers move away from the section.

‘It’s incredible how you can make something almost nice sound so insulting,’ I responded, uncertain how I should feel about his words. ‘There’s nothing wrong with seeing the good in other people. You should try it some time. Look, if it’s the money you’re worrying about, of course I’ll cover your subscription. I’m the only reason you’re joining the app anyway.’

‘A generous offer. Librarians must be better paid than I thought they were.’

‘The app offers a free trial for the first two weeks, then a reduced fee for the rest of the initial month,’ I admitted. ‘I’m hoping we’ll have things wrapped up well before that’s done. And if you fancy staying as a member after that, then of course the payments will be down to you.’

‘We can safely rule out that eventuality. I’m not in the market for a relationship.’

‘More of a one-night-stand kind of guy, are you?’ I said before I could stop myself. A sudden image flashed before my eyes of a bare-chested Leo stretched out in bed, curly hair even more tousled than usual, sheets tangled around his narrow waist. Why had I even made such a comment?

The words hung in the air between us.

‘I don’t think that’s any of your business, is it?’ he said, watching me closely.

I shook my hair forward, fruitlessly trying to shield my expression from him, praying that my face hadn’t given away what had just been going through my mind.

‘That was completely unnecessary, and totally inappropriate. I don’t need to know, and I don’t know why I asked. I can only say sorry.’ I knew I was overdoing it with the apology, but I was horrified that he might have read in my eyes the weird direction of my thoughts.

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