Page 26 of Read Between The Lines

‘You’re right. Okay, if you don’t want to add any more detail, we’re nearly done. Just the final few quick-fire ones to polish off.’

He shuddered. ‘Quick-fire questions? We’re back to the screening process on a job application again.’

‘I guess, in some ways, the app is asking people to fill in an application for the ultimate role– as someone’s life partner. That’s how I took it, anyway.’ More fool me.

‘As previously stated, that’s a role I am not applying for. Okay, hit me with them, let’s get this over and done with.’

‘Dogs or cats?’

‘Parrots,’ he said defiantly.

‘Sadly, there isn’t an option for parrots.’

‘That’s a shame. Parrots are very intelligent creatures. I once encountered one who’d witnessed a crime and was able to tell us who’d done it. The defence lawyers tried to argue that the bird wasn’t a credible witness, but the jury couldn’t get enough of it.’

I stared at him. ‘I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.’

‘Blame it on still having a policeman’s terrible sense of humour.’ His eyes twinkled. ‘Okay, I’ll go for dogs, then. They’ve got the reputation of man’s best friend for a reason, right? Next question.’

I scrolled down. ‘Country or town?’

‘They’re asking a lot, aren’t they, forcing humans who are notoriously complex beings to place themselves within such a binary choice?’

‘It’s only meant to be a bit of fun,’ I said. There was being a private person, and then there was Leo. His determination to remain an enigma was something else.

‘Country.’

‘Oh, snap, me too. Sweet or savoury?’

‘These questions are dreadful. I really don’t know how anyone would expect to find their life partner using them. Again, I’d prefer to tick the “other” box and say it depends on what mood I’m in, but, if we’re having to generalise, I’ll go for sweet on this occasion.’

‘Running or rowing?’

Leo laughed. ‘Tell me the app is based in Oxford without telling me the app is based in Oxford. In my experience, most rowers also do a fair bit of running as well to help build their cardio. Pick whichever one you like. Are we nearly done?’

‘Only two more to go. Theatre or cinema? And yes, before you say it, I agree that they should let you tick both boxes.’

‘I guess it depends on the show. I’ll say cinema because I reckon a lot of people will answer the opposite to make themselves appear more cultured, and I’m trying to keep a low profile.’ He sat up straighter. ‘Right, I’m bracing myself. What is the definitive final question which will reveal whether I’m decent boyfriend material or not?’

‘Would you rather cook, or wash the dishes?’

Leo tried to grab the phone from me. ‘No, you cannot be serious. Is that really the final question?’

I turned the phone round so he could see it. ‘I promise, that’s what they’ve asked. I suppose it could be interpreted as a way of revealing whether you’re a creative person or prefer more practical tasks.’

‘That’s assuming there’s some degree of creativity in the cooking. What’s to stop a guy from checking the cooking box and thinking proudly of the cold beans on burnt toast which is his signature dish? What did Brian go for?’

‘Actually, the quick-fire questions are randomly generated for each user. He had much more interesting questions like, “going out or staying in?”, “book or movie?”, and “love or money?”.’

Leo made a noise which sounded suspiciously like a snort. ‘I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have answered that last one truthfully.’

‘Obviously not. So, what is it: cooking or doing the dishes? Come on, Leo, it’s time to reveal the real you. What are you passionate about? What makes your heart beat faster?’

Even though I was obviously teasing him, his face took on that shuttered expression it always did when he was being asked anything personal.

‘I prefer to spend my down time in places other than the kitchen. Pick whichever you like. I’ve got an appointment to get to.’

ChapterTen

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