Page 21 of Read Between The Lines

Leo led the way to the University Parks like he was leading a route march.

‘Would you mind slowing down a bit? Not everyone’s a giraffe. Some of us have to manage getting through life with a considerably shorter stride. Besides, people take one look at the thunderous expression on your face and dive out of your way, whereas I need to do more weaving in and out of the crowds,’ I called after him, slightly breathless with the effort of trying to keep up as he ploughed forward.

He came to a sudden halt, forcing me to take evasive action to avoid slamming into his broad back.

‘They do what?’ he asked.

‘They all move out of your path. It’s called male privilege. Obviously, I’m generalising, but society has programmed us humble females to move automatically out of the way, while most men charge ahead not even realising that’s what’s going on. It adds a lot of unnecessary steps to one’s day.’

I braced myself for him to argue back at me.

Leo tilted his head to one side, reflecting on what I’d said. ‘I suppose I hadn’t really thought about it like that before.’

‘Every day’s a school day. Now you’ve been made aware of it, you won’t be able to stop noticing it. Although hopefully you’ll take preventative action by being more aware of those in your surroundings.’ I knew I was being a bit preachy, but he seemed prepared to have his eyes opened to the issue.

‘I shall consider myself told.’ He paused. ‘But you, a humble female? I hadn’t noticed. If only.’

I made as if to lightly punch him.

He grinned. ‘Do you want to lead the way, then? I shall spend the rest of the walk contemplating my growing paranoia about my male privilege, and of course, the apparently unnatural length of my neck. Nobody’s referred to me as a giraffe before. Don’t they also have incredibly knobbly knees? I’m going to develop a serious complex by the end of the day.’

‘Don’t worry too much about it. Extra-long scarves are all the rage. And at least you’ve got the option of wearing trousers to hide any knee knobbliness, which puts you at a distinct advantage over the giraffes.’

We walked the rest of the way to the park side by side, Leo making a point of smiling politely and stepping into the road to let every woman in the vicinity walk past him. Judging by the delighted beams he was getting in response, he was making quite a few people’s days. Whether he was doing it for the attention, or because he’d genuinely taken my words to heart, I couldn’t quite tell, but at least he appeared to be thinking about it.

Although it was the Easter holidays, there were still plenty of students hanging around in the University Parks making the most of the warm mid-April sunshine. We passed a study group sprawled out on the grass, earnestly discussing their favourite Roman emperors, a collection of amateur acrobats practising their tumbling in full academic dress, and then a couple of postgrads who, taking up a bench apiece, debated whether to head into banking or follow their true ambitions of going into politics after university.

‘They’d be better off getting some real-life experience first, if you ask me,’ said Leo under his breath as we walked past them.

I smiled, amused that I wasn’t the only one eavesdropping on the people around us. I suppose being a former policeman, he was used to paying careful attention to his surroundings so he could assess the situation he was walking into.

‘I’m guessing the banking profession isn’t the kind of real-life experience that you’re meaning,’ I said.

He snorted. ‘Absolutely not. It’s always struck me as fitting that there is only one letter difference between the words “banker” and “wa?—”’

‘My sister’s a banker.’ I got in there before he could finish the insulting statement.

‘My condolences to your family,’ he responded irreverently.

‘There’s no need to be rude.’ I frowned at him. I knew he was being deliberately provocative, but I had to defend Caro. ‘She’s a lovely personanda good banker.’

‘I didn’t know the two things were compatible.’

‘She looks after her firm’s charitable donations and leads on ethical investments. She gets to direct millions of pounds towards the people and causes that really need it. Caro loves that she can make a difference in her role; it’s all she ever wanted.’

‘Good for her,’ said Leo sincerely, although he ruined it with his next statement. ‘Being a dreamy optimist obviously runs in the Fisher family.’

He laughed at the glare I was directing at him, and I reminded myself to stop rising to his bait. Once again, I wondered if I’d made an error in enlisting his help. I could be back at the library enjoying the peace of the break room rather than being deliberately wound up by this exasperating partner in crime-fighting. But I knew I wouldn’t be relaxing there. I’d be stressing about what harm Scammer Brian might be about to inflict.

‘Oh look, there’s a bench by the river,’ Leo continued, apparently oblivious to my internal conflict. ‘Will it offend your feminist principles if I stride on ahead to reserve it for us? I’m sure you’ll have noticed that there is a particular ruthlessness on display in this park when it comes to bagging prime seating with the best views, and you’ll admit I have the advantage with my apparently giraffe-like legs.’

He didn’t wait for my answer, but instead made quick work of covering the ground to the bench. I spotted at least two other people turn away looking disappointed and Leo’s gloating grin from fifty paces.

He looked even more triumphant when I caught up with him.

‘Check this out.’ He gestured at the small plaque screwed onto the bench.

‘In memory of J. R. R. Tolkien,’ I read out loud. ‘I must take a snap for the library’s social media feed. I knew there was a bench in his honour in the park, but I’ve never managed to find it before. Here’s hoping we can channel Tolkien’s creative writing powers when it comes to putting together your SO Ox profile.’

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