Page 24 of Take a Chance on Greece

‘The man should always pay,’ retorted Andreas. He folded his arms, determined not to give way. There was an ominous tearing sound from the seams of his shirt as the fabric did battle with his biceps.

Thankfully, the proprietor broke the impasse by announcing that as the museum was going to close in half an hour, we could go in for free. Athletic Andreas put his arm around my waist, casually resting his hand on my hip as he steered me into the room. It felt strange to be this close to a man who wasn’t Jim. I wasn’t sure I liked it. Not because he wasn’t Jim, not at all, but because he was essentially a stranger, and I was yet to make my mind up about him. I certainly wasn’t comfortable enough in his presence to be standing this close together. I neatly stepped away from his side and went across the room to pick up a leaflet giving more information about what was in the exhibition.

In spite of my uncertainty about the company, I was pleased to be getting the chance to see the artefacts on display. The exhibition consisted of the most detailed plaster casts and modern recreations of ancient Greek statues. Visitors were encouraged to get as close to them as they wanted, which gave me an amazing perspective of the craftsmanship which must have gone into creating the originals on which they were based. The figures looked lifelike and strong, if slightly exaggerated in terms of their proportions. I peered at the labels, reading about how the statues were based on the ancient ideals of the perfect form, one in which strength and grace were equally prized.

‘Look at this one,’ I said, calling across to Andreas as I admired the statue of a man about to throw a discus. Its stance was so lifelike, I found myself stepping out of the supposed path of the shot. There was no response from my date. I turned around and saw him at the other end of the room standing in front of a statue of a young man tying on a headband. The pose of the statue was designed to show off the strength in the guy’s torso, the lines of the muscles almost hypnotic in their detail. And then I realised that Andreas was adopting a similar stance, posing in front of it so that he was mimicking the young man’s action.

‘What do you think?’ he asked.

I wasn’t sure how I was meant to reply. There was something incredibly surreal about seeing a grown man in skin-tight satin trying to impress a woman by posing like a naked statue. He dropped the stance for just long enough to gesture at his phone which was in his back pocket.

‘My followers will like, don’t you think? Can you take photos for them?’

And then I realised he hadn’t been asking for my opinion on his appearance. He was just concerned about whether the pose would generate enough likes on his social media pages. I hoped he wasn’t going to ask me to join in. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep a straight face.

I needn’t have worried as it soon became clear that my presence was not required in any of the pictures. There followed a half-hour photography and video session, in which Athletic Andreas posed in front of every statue in the room and directed me in an increasingly bossy way as to how to take the pictures he wanted from the best angle. I had to admire his dedication to the cause as he contorted himself into various uncomfortable-looking positions in order to get the perfect pose. He even roped in the poor manager of the museum to waft a large piece of cardboard towards him so his hair could look artfully tousled while he was doing dances to add to his Instagram reels. I had never met anyone so superficial and vain in all my life, but his genuine enjoyment of what he was doing was infectious, and although the date wasn’t at all what I’d hoped for, the whole situation was so surreal that I still had a good time. He was a funny guy, despite his obsession with his personal appearance.

Eventually, the museum manager had had enough and politely asked us to leave. As he closed the door behind us, I could hear him immediately turning the bolts. He was probably scared that Andreas would try to go back in for one last power pose.

‘This was an amazing date,’ said Andreas confidently, puffing his chest up and making his muscles ripple beneath the satin all over again.

‘I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much,’ I answered truthfully. I had promised myself when I set out on this Andreas dating mission that I would be honest with both myself and my dates. Time to put that honesty into practice. Fortunately, I’d got a pretty good notion of what made Athletic Andreas tick, and I didn’t think he’d be too devasted by what I was about to say, which made it a lot easier. I forced myself to be brave. ‘Although it has been very nice to meet you and I have enjoyed learning about what makes for a good social media post, I’m afraid I can’t see us going on another date. I’m not sure that we have a huge amount in common, and I’d definitely have to up my photography game. Thank you for a fun and illuminating time, though. I will never look at an Instagram picture or reel in the same way again.’

A look of surprise briefly crossed Athletic Andreas’s face before he shrugged casually. ‘Never mind. It was fun to have met you too, Lydia. Good luck with finding your Andreas. Don’t forget to follow me.’

He named his social media handles and patiently waited for me to key them into my phone. Noticing the number of comments he’d already had in response to his statue posing post, I figured he’d soon be able to find himself another date if he wanted to. Then he kissed my cheek and strode off quickly to get another workout in at the gym.

I took the opportunity to send a text message to check in with my backup girls before they felt the need to send out a search party for me. As I was doing so, I noticed a message on my phone from Alexis that I hadn’t heard arrive.

I hope you have a good evening. Here if you need me

I smiled, the words on the screen translating into the sound of his warm voice in my head. I tapped out a brief reply thanking him, then sent another message, something compelling me to continue the conversation.

It was an interesting evening. I now feel able to take up an alternative career as a personal photographer for influencers.

His reply came quickly.

Sounds…interesting?

You could say that. I’m glad I’ve dipped my toe in the dating pool again, but I think my Mr Right would have spent more time admiring the ancient artefacts than himself.

Or, dare I suggest it, you?

But before I had worked out how to interpret his comment, or how to respond, another message pinged through.

Not Awesome Andreas, then? I’m sorry that it wasn’t what you were hoping for.

I was touched that he seemed to genuinely care about the journey I was on.

Alas no. Athletic Andreas definitely. Perhaps even Arrogant Andreas at times. But sadly, not Awesome.

The three dots appeared on the screen but it took a while for his message to appear.

Where are you going to search for him next?

That was a very good question indeed.

Chapter Thirteen

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