Page 6 of Can I?

“Because I think you’re beautiful, and I didn’t want to openly flirt with someone else’s woman.”

She gave me a head nod, but she didn’t say anything else. “Would it be okay if I gave you my number and we get to know each other?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ferris. I’m not looking to get to know anybody right now. I have a lot on my plate, and excuse my bluntness, but niggas ain’t shit.”

I frowned. Clearly, she’d been hurt. “Damn. So you just gon’ group all of us in one category though?”

“Yep, until I feel like I want to get to know more about you. That time may never come.”

She was tripping. I wasn’t down for knowing a woman with such a negative disposition. Still, I was curious, so I asked, “Why?”

“Because I have to be cautious with men these days. I chose to refocus my energy on my family and my career. Life is already fucked up without possibly adding another fucked-up situation to it. I don’t even want to take a chance getting to know anyone.”

She didn’t really answer my question, but it was cool. I could understand her stance for right now, but she said that time maynevercome. If she wasn’t attracted to me, that was all she had to say. I didn’t think that was the case, though, because she definitely expressed her views on niggas as a whole.

I only nodded in acceptance and remained quiet until it was time to order my dessert. “Hey, Ferris!” Mrs. Harper said.

“Hey, Missus Harper.”

“I’m surprised to see you here. You came with Asad?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Despite technically not being related to Red Squared, as Milana told her cousins, I still knew all the people they were friends with, especially Mr. Legend and his family. I met them when I was a teenager and had gone to Mr. Red’s house to visit Asad while he was there for the weekend. I lived in Beaumont, so Nome was like the midpoint between Beaumont and Liberty, where Asad lived with his mother, Lacey.

After I got my cookies, she asked, “Are you going to Red’s house after this?”

“No, ma’am. I have to head back to Beaumont so my niece won’t kill me. That’s even if I leave early enough.”

“Oh, yes. Miss Kam gon’ take care of you when you get there. Well, enjoy the cookies, baby.”

“Thanks, Missus Harper. I know I will.”

When I walked away, I saw Milana glance at me from where she was standing, talking to her cousins. There had to be something more to why she didn’t want to talk to me. She seemed just as interested as I was, but whatever. I shot my shot, and it didn’t go in the hoop. That shit happened sometimes.

CHAPTER THREE

MILANA

It had been a week since Grandpa’s funeral, and I just wanted to have everything go back to how it used to be. Despite me trying to be social, I was depressed. Daddy had been calling me every day, but there was no communication from my mama. At the end of every phone call, I was sure to tell him to tell her that I loved her. It felt like I was dying inside.

Ferris was fine as hell, and I was extremely attracted to him, but I wasn’t emotionally ready to be involved with anybody. It wasn’t that I was too busy. I knew as long as I wasn’t talking to my mama, I wouldn’t be trying to form any new relationships. Everything was my fault, and I was doing my best to make things right.

Friday, I ordered a bouquet of flowers to have delivered to her and a new saddle I saw her looking at not too long ago. She said she didn’t need it and had moved on to something else, but I knew she loved it, because she stared at it for too long. She never let me really use my money to pay for anything, because she said Grandpa had gotten her started. So I had a nice nest egg saved up. I wouldn’t receive my Henderson money until I was twenty-five. From what I understood, that was around two million dollars.

I would build a house in Henderson Village by my other cousins, hopefully. They were the only ones checking on me right now. None of my aunts and uncles were talking to me. It wasn’t like they called me anyway. We typically saw everybody at the diner, but I hadn’t been going. I had to allow my mama her space. I knew she frequented the diner, as did everyone else.

I knew that everyone knew. Maui and the twins had told me how angry Uncle Storm was. Typically, he didn’t have a problem expressing himself. I felt like he was avoiding me because he didn’t want to see me either. He was angry past the point of return and was probably afraid he would hurt me, whether that was physically, emotionally, or mentally. So I was glad he was staying away from me.

After leaving the rodeo and going to my temporary home at Karima’s to take a shower, I sat on the couch and tried calling my mama. After one ring, it went to voicemail. I ended the call, not bothering to leave a message. She sent me to voicemail every time I called, purposely ignoring me. I listened to saved voice messages over and over just to hear her voice. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I went to Karima’s guestroom and prepared to turn in early.

When the doorbell rang, I huffed. It had to be one of my cousins. I was tired, though, and didn’t feel like getting up. Ignoring it, I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Shortly after, my phone chimed. It was a text from my brother.Come open the door, Lani.

He only called me Lani when he knew I was hurting about something. He’d been calling me that ever since I was forced to tell my parents what went down between Julius, Malik, and me. Throwing the covers off me, I went to the door and opened it to let him in. He had a duffel bag. I frowned slightly as he walked past me.

“Why do you have a bag?”

“I feel like you need company. You haven’t been the same since all this bullshit came out. I know Ashanni and Maui have been spending time with you, so I called them to see if they’d come here tonight. When they told me they hadn’t, I made my way here. Despite all the bullshit, you know I love you.”

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