Page 22 of Every Hidden Truth
If he hurt Ben because of me… the thought was unthinkable.
“Silas?”
My stomach filled with lead as I grudgingly faced him. “Well, we don’t have to, like, rub it in people’s faces, do we?”
Hurt colored his expression, and as he sat back with a leg bent underneath him, I followed, curling into a ball and hugging my knees. My chin rested on my knees as I searched for a way to explain without revealing what Eric had tried to do. He hadn’t succeeded, and rehashing it would only lead to bad memories and arguments.
“I mean, it’s none of their business, you know?” I said.
“Well, I wasn’t planning on giving you a blowjob in the lunchroom, but—you want to keep us a secret?”
I shook my head, scooting across the cushions and resting a hand on his leg. “No, not a secret. That’s not what I meant. It’s just—I mean, it’s no one’s business but ours. And they’re assholes. They’ll just give you shit, and—”
“Let them talk. I don’t care what they say.” He took my hand, examining my palm. “I’m not ashamed of you.”
“I’m not ashamed of you either, you idiot.”
With a growl, I shoved him against the back of the couch and crawled into his lap. Straddling his hips, I framed his face with my hands and forced him to look at me. Why he thought I’d be ashamed of him was an absolute mystery.
“I’m not ashamed of you, Ben. But I know those kids, and they’re awful people. You have a good reputation. They’re nice to you, and if you saddle yourself with me—”
He cut me off again, his fingers circling my wrists. “I don’t care. I told you already that I would choose you every time. I like you, and I want to be your boyfriend everywhere, not just behind closed doors.”
The sentiment hurt my heart. The only relationship—if I could call it that—I’d ever had was behind closed doors. Eli never touched me unless we were in his room or at a party where no one knew his boyfriend—the boyfriend I knew nothing about.
At the time, I hadn’t cared because he was attractive and actually wanted to have sex with me. We’d fucked without strings or expectations. I thought it was what I wanted, until it wasn’t.
“I’ve never done thisnotbehind closed doors,” I admitted.
“I know, and I’m not going to push you for something you’re not ready for. But I don’t want to be your dirty little secret.”
“They’ll give you shit. Your teammates, Jake fucking Thompson, and”—I licked my lips as my gut twisted—“and Boyt.”
The change was instantaneous. One moment, Ben watched me with conviction, and the next, the ocean in his eyes froze into chipped ice. I flinched at the rapid transformation. My Ben was gone, replaced by a terrifying, angry version of himself.
“If you think for one second that I’m afraid of that psychopath, you’re wrong. I hope he comes after me.” His grip on my wrists tightened until my bones squeaked in pain, and I cringed. “I’ll break more than just his nose.”
“Ben, you’re hurting me,” I whispered, and his eyes widened before he released me with a grunted apology.
Pushing me off of him, he scrubbed his face as he took a deep breath and let it out through pursed lips. “I know I pissed him off, but he hasn’t spoken to me since…” he drifted off, casting me a concerned look. “He doesn’t even look at me when we pass each other in the hallways. He won’t come after me because he knows I can take him. He’s a coward, Silas, and cowards only pick on the ones they know they can beat.”
“Wow, thanks,” I bit out, and Ben winced.
“You know I don’t mean it like that.Iknow how to fight, and I proved that when I broke his nose. That’s why I don’t think he’ll try anything. He’ll huff and he’ll puff, but it’s all empty air.”
Except it wasn’t. Ben hadn’t been there behind that stage. He didn’t understand the depths Eric was willing to stoop to.
“If he ever hurts you, I’ll never forgive myself,” I said, and I hated how I was pleading. “I know you think you can take him, but he never fights fair. They’ll gang up on you.”
“So, what? We hide on the off chance he gets pissed about our relationship?” Rising from the couch, Ben placed his fists on his hips and glowered. “That’s crazy! He can’t dictate what you do or who you date. You can’t give him that kind of power.”
I stood too, knocking his shoulder to force him back as my own temper sparked. “I’m not giving him anything! Any power he has was taken from me when he—” I choked on the words, unable to say it, and suddenly, Ben was there. His arms surrounded me as my face pressed to the crook of his neck.
“I won’t let him hurt you,” he rasped against my ear, kissing beneath it. “I won’t ever let him touch you again.”
For a moment, I allowed the helplessness to swallow me. Ben didn’t let me go. He didn’t let me fall. He held me up as I buried my fear, forcing it down until I could breathe again. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore.
“We just have to stick together,” he said, rubbing my back gently, “and be honest with each other.”
